good sensations

Living in America

2011-04-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

A month in Europe gave me an outsider perspective on the US, and this what mine eyes see, and what mine ears hear:

Italians:

Danes:

Reality:

Decompression

2011-04-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

Back home from Europe, nearly one month to the day. It's no coincidence I stopped writing at De Panne, that was my low point for the trip. I woke up the first morning and could barely stand straight because of some mystery back ailment. After about 150k I couldn't pedal and that was it. From there out it was slow improvement.

The racing was tough; a couple days none of us finished. Almost every race was 200k, and typically arranged with one big loop of around 100-130k then a few finishing circuits for the finale. The roads were as you'd expect; the widest was maybe four lanes, the narrowest could fit two guys shoulder to shoulder, of course excluding the two others riding in the grass along side.

To say "positioning is important" is as much of an understatement as saying "drafting is important." With 200 guys riding on a road the size of a bike path--through small towns, roundabouts, over 20% climbs, cobblestones, etc--the race eventually becomes a miss and out. Too far back and you start wishing you were going faster, as you see the front of the field sprinting over the top of the climb that you're standing unclipped on, or already guttered on the road you're waiting to turn onto.

Most of the time I felt like I was racing a crit with amnesia. The speed and race dynamics are the same, except you don't know what's around the corner in front of you, though they all look familiar. If you feel comfortable "just sitting" then about 30 seconds later you're "just sitting" on the back. The races are long enough you can't really fight the whole time, the key is knowing when you have to. A few times when I knew a climb or cobble sector was approaching I made a big effort to get on the front, only to see thirty guys pass me on someone's lawn in the preceding turn.

Needless to say, the racing is super fun. It's pretty much anything-goes bike gladiators. Rubbing's racing and as long as you're not being malicious no one says a word. When it does get malicious, some chaps just settle it with a rolling hockey fight. In two different races we saw little brawls that played out the same: two guys start shouting, one gives the other a push, then the peloton crowds around in a little bubble and starts cheering, egging on the two--who clearly would have stopped otherwise--until a few jabs are thrown, and if they stop too soon they're met with a chorus of boooos until they finish it off proper. Then we start racing again.

All that aside, I really don't have a big European sob story to report. Sure, the races were hard, but we knew that going in and quite a lot went our way. The weather was spectacular, and I can't even imagine how much harder those races would have been in the rain and wind we were expecting. The equipment was also incredible; we eventually settled on the 25c Columbiere as our tire of choice, and had no problems on clinchers and carbon wheels in fields dominated by tubulars on low-profile alloy rims. These races truly showcase any weaknesses, and a few teams clearly were suffering in the equipment department with rider after rider pulling over with punctures or broken wheels.

All the pragmatic stuff was also phenomenal. We spent most of the trip at the same B&B in Waregem with a big lecherous Belgian mama looking after us. Thankfully we also had a rental RV for most of the races--pretty much essential equipment in those parts. The race starts tend to be in downtown areas and don't usually provide any facilities for changing or relieving oneself. And as soon as you step out of the car/RV there's a swarm of awkward, gawking fans asking for autographs and freebies. There are a few who even stalk the parking lots DURING the racing, waiting to snipe the water bottles of any DNFs. Jake even had someone pull the bottles off his bike right after he crossed the finish line. Below are a few pictures of "the life."

Daily schedules:

Highly stressful transfers:

Learning to check the oil in the big rig:

Dirty roads and cobbles:

First class schwag: race-branded waffle cookies and easter eggs

So the first Euro adventure of the year is in the books. It was great to go back, this was my first time out of North American in more than three years, and it's quite a bit different in the company of a bunch of gringos. And this is probably the first time I've come back in better health and spirits than when I left. We're all going to be racing in the States quite a bit the next few months, and I look forward to seeing how the new fitness and savvy will transfer. I'll leave you with a little glimpse of our off-bike entertainment, a folk interpretation of Lady Gaga courtesy of Andrew Pinfold.

At the rate he's going I think he's a prime candidate for one of these shows. Celine Dion is even a Canuck, right?

De Panne Prepa

2011-03-28T08:40:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow starts the racing big time here in Belgium. The first stage of De Panne is 200k starting from the coast and coming inland. It's mostly flat the first half, then we finish with three circuits with lots of hills and a 2.5k stretch of cobbles.

We rode the circuits a few times the last two days and it's about as you'd imagine: rolling hills, super narrow, twisting roads, and of course, short, steep climbs. Many of the roads are shared with other big races. There are city signs showing the Tour of Flanders route, and race signs still up from Saturday's E3 Harelbeke. We're staying not 10k from the Koppenberg and the Kwaremont, and will go over the Kemmelberg on stage 2.

I have to say I was surprised how hard it is to ride the cobbles. The closest thing I can compare it to is riding on the rumble strips along some highways. Basically, like riding through mud with square wheels. I honed the technique a bit and it got better, but still you basically just have to go flat stick the whole time and let the bike do it's thing underneath you. And it's unbelievably better just hopping onto the dirt path next to the road.

The cobbles we do aren't all that bad though, it's a wide road, just gently rolling, and in pretty good shape. The weather is also supposed to be nice and sunny tomorrow, so that will greatly improve our quality of life.

On the equipment side things are pretty standard. We're all riding the standard Boardman AiR 9.8 aero bike, minus Jonny who's too cool for school and went for the SLR bike. Normal gearing, 45mm Enve carbon wheels and Maxxis clinchers. Most of us have either double-wrapped tape or the new Evo Curve bars from Ritchey with a 31.8 cross section all the way to the hoods, and we're using 25c tires (Re Fuse rear and Colombiere front) instead of our normal 23c Cormets.

Everything else is picking up fast. We have two mechanics (Bernard and Jorge) who just drove in last night from Italy, and three Sougnieurs also straight in from Coppi e Bartali (Benny, Jeremy, and Miha). We were also reunited with our helmets, very welcome now that we're doing race-pace practice runs on the cobbles. And we just met our euro box truck, which our ass of a neighbor can't stop loitering around.

So think good thoughts tomorrow, we're expecting a baptism by fire but feeling good about it. You can also most likely watch a live stream of the last 50k or so from either Steephill.tv or cyclingfans.com. One day at a time...

Ciao Italia

2011-03-26T11:42:00.001-07:00

Our brief sojourn here in Bergamo ends tomorrow morning. We flew in no dramas, visited the service course to pick up equipment, and for the last three days have been putzing on the push bikes all around the foothills of the alps.

Unfortunately our Europe helmets are away at another race (Coppi e Bartali), so we've been slumming it with the caps on and covering our brakes on the descents. I did, however, suffer one bizarre and inexplicable incident in which I rode straight into (then over) a red and white striped boom gate, but the gate took the brunt of it, and we took off before being presented with a bill.

Otherwise everything's quite low key. Have a spot of Cappuccino and bread in the morning, get our ride on, have a feast of a lunch then try to stay awake until dinner. Post-dinner entertainment has been track worlds live from Holland, last night was the women's pursuit, sprint finals, and the men's elimination.

We're trying our best to keep relaxed and not shoot off too many mental bullets just stressing about the races coming up. I've tried to suspend thinking about racing altogether since it brings up the heart rate about 10 beats straight away. Instead there's lots of important stuff to do like google translate the menu and practice my CBF face (to use when passing oncoming riders, very important here).

In a few weeks this time will seem pretty insignificant as we head into three weeks in Belgium and Holland. So it's "ciao" and "ciao" and in 24hrs we'll be skittering across cobbles and eating frites.

I'm on a plane!

2011-03-24T10:32:00.001-07:00

Just looking out on the sun-lit, snow-capped Pyrenees on the way to Italy. Which means we're on the way to Belgium, which means we're racing, which means it's time to start blogging again!

This trip is full of romance: landing in the fashion capital of the most fashionista country, going to race on cobbles and narrow climbs, and slowly sipping classy cappuccinos on the days between. But let me briefly share with you the dark side of this trip:

See it's not all fun and games, it's fun and (one) game: "Guess Which Meat." Mind you this is a game without winners and only one sacred rule: if you don't 100% know the answer to the question, go with the pasta.

Inner peace

2011-02-17T18:29:00.000-08:00

Though I will never, NEVER get over having lost my memory cards, I'm beginning the healing process with 1/4 of my planned video project from the drive out. This is the first day from Seattle to Salt Lake City, minus about 300mi of the drive (the second blizzard) because somehow those didn't make it onto my computer. I gave myself 30min to put this together and now hopefully I can heal emotionally.

Let me again stress that I should have more to show than this for having driven three days straight with one hand on the dashboard taking pictures. But that's fine. FINE. I am healed.

Because of this:

All I've got are my balls and my word and I don't break 'em for nobody

2011-02-12T09:30:00.000-08:00

One month + one training camp into the season and I've already started to make a few deposits in the bad luck piggy. Camp was pretty stellar but it kicked my ass. Day two I came down some kind of stomach virus and could barely eat the rest of the time. First day back on the bike, which was the last day of camp, I dropped myself in a stupid crash. Then the last day of camp my stomach virus turned into a regular old upper respiratory infection. THEN my bag was lost coming home. By my count this means the rest the year should be pretty much problem free.

Otherwise, as I mentioned, camp was awesome. We were in Agoura Hills, just off the course from the final stage of last year's TOC. The weather was consistently warm and sunny, the roads were beautiful, great hotel, etc. Even though this year was more meetings than bike time, it still felt more relaxed and comfortable than last year; probably just because it's year two for me, or perhaps because I spent the whole time sleeping in my room in a hypoglycemic daze.

I'm back in Asheville now for another block of training before racing starts next month. Most of the guys will have raced by then, I think all but two of us, but this ProConti business really complicates race selection. Not only are we ineligible to do races lower than .2 UCI rating, we've also not been around quite long enough to get automatic invites into the races we are eligible for. That, coupled with several races in Europe being cancelled for financial difficulties, has placed race days in high demand.

By the way, time out, the whole criteriums vs. road races in the US "confusion" got blown way out of proportion. The rule is the same as it always has been and is very simple: ProTour and ProConti teams can't do races with a UCI status lower than 1.2 or 2.2. Crits don't count because the UCI doesn't recognize them as "real" races (think post-Tour crits). Of course there is some grey area, like stage races that are comprised primarily of crits like Nature Valley; but for the most part, we're stuck going between UCI events and national crits, and can't do much else on the NRC.

With that in mind it looks like I'll start racing next month with a five-day tour in Brazil, then go to Belgium for a couple weeks. The most notable race there is Driedaagse De Panne, the three-day/four-stage cobbles tune up one week before Flanders. It's a 2.HC race, with lots of big teams, and judging by the looks of horror on my teammates' faces it's a bit of a slobberknocker. You decide:

I'd had more mental investment in camp than I'd realized; I thought it was going to be the season kickoff, and I'd arrive in good race shape then duck off to Europe straight after. But now that things are moved around I'm actually happy to have another month to pile on form and drop off pounds, not to mention get back to full health. Times like these I get inspiration from the dogs in my life: those who draw consistent enjoyment from barking at intruders, sunny spots on the couch, mystery foods falling from the counter, and fun new smells. They can't be bothered by past tribulations or future trials, and don't mind when someone in the house shares some hair dye one cold winter night. Winston: pure, badass, Zen.

Generations

2011-01-18T13:08:00.000-08:00

Seems like every generation looks back wondering "how could we have been like that." They celebrate the "progress" made. But then the next generation does the same. It seems our task to not become too comfortable, to keep evolving both as individuals and as groups, or not be surprised when we wake up one day "on the wrong side of history."

1963

2009

My quote of the week:

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

The year was 2011

2011-01-12T17:18:00.000-08:00

I made it to Asheville, and since then have even managed to leave North Carolina once. Here are some details.

The Drive:

I was planning an epic blog about the drive, having mounted a camera to my dash and taken about 6000 pictures on my drive to be condensed into a stop-motion movie. But then somehow in the last twenty miles of the drive I lost two full memory cards and my battery charger, so I only have pictures from the first day. And that's emotionally crushing enough that I blocked the drive from my memory and don't really want to talk about it. BUT I can say that at first I had a lot of respect for truck drivers because they seemed to always know what was up and drove pragmatically. THEN about halfway across Wyoming in the middle of a blizzard I realized they're actually probably just bat-shit crazy a-holes who drive one speed constantly. They were literally being blown off the road by a strong crosswind on black ice, then two semis in front of me plowed into a third semi that was stopped. The visibility was about 10ft but they couldn't be bothered to slow down below 40mph. I ended up in a ditch to avoid it but got out unscathed and even got THE WHOLE THING ON FILM but now can't find it. This is why I'm not talking about the drive.

There was so much ice built up during the drive it actually pulled the fender liner off the inside of the wheel well:

In lieu of my video, this is pretty much what it looked like the whole way, except the mountains turned into blizzard about halfway there:

One very cold night in Missouri...

...but when you're carrying everything you own, it's easy to keep warm, even if it means space is a little tight:

Asheville:

I rolled into Asheville at 11:30pm on New Year's Eve, having made the 2800mi drive in three days. There have been a good number of bike rides and dinners with friends since then, and all in all things are great. We had great weather, then snowy weather that was still great, and very little of that middle of the road crap that just makes you grumpy. One day was snowy-icy and we just drove down to Greenville where sun and dry roads awaited. Camp starts in about three weeks, and until then I look forward to exploring and settling further before the chaos of the season kicks in.

The new place. Thankfully my roommates are more design savvy than me:

First ride in town. Also the only day without sun since arriving:

It was a little awkward having the new bike with the old ones... the old ones were clearly insecure about the new one's seatpost length:

Snow biking on the Blue Ridge Parkway:

Winter in North Carolina is... still winter:

Carolinians are even more afraid of snow that Seattleites:

The TUNNEL:

The most recent excitement was a wind tunnel session in Charlotte the last two days. I kind of knew what to expect, but also had really no idea what to expect. It was all very educational, not in the silver-bullet kind of way, but more like the new-tool kind of way. Long story short, my position isn't radically different but I have a better concept of what goes into a solid position (for me) and what to work on and think about in the future. And sometimes it's just as good to come away knowing that you don't need to change a lot and can trust the path you're on.

Pre-tunnel bonding time with the new bike:

Getting set up. The first time you're locked in and the fans start winding up is a little intimidating, but on the whole it's very user-friendly and comfy:

The fans at the back suck the air past. We couldn't bring any climbers because they would also be sucked through:

You sit at the front of the tunnel, held in place on the platform:

Back of the tunnel where the flames shoot out:

Front of the tunnel:

Here's one position captured top...

...side...

...front...

...and on video:

My session was fairly relaxed, but I did get a chance to witness the chaos of Zwiz and Rory's sessions complete with media, sponsors, etc. It was pretty phenomenal to work with Chris Boardman, but equally great to have the full support crew complete with tunnel guru Mike Giraud, multiple mechanics, tons of equipment, and many others. By the end of the two days it really started to sink in what a big year is ahead, how many people are involved and care, and what potential it brings with it. This was a great way to kick off 2011 and set a very professional, intentional tone for the season.

Some idea of the scrum, but this only about a third of the people present:

There were always lots of opinions floating around. Almost all were tried:

Tons of equipment means tons of wrenching:

Three different frames for the year, all awaiting testing:

And by the way, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club narrowly edged out Beirut for the best roadtrip music:

LEAVING EMERGENCY DEPARTURE URGENT IMMINENT

2010-12-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to be racing the Burnaby 4 AS WE SPEAK, but weather cancellations left my madison partner stranded on the East coast. And as any young hellion knows it's near impossible to sit at home when there's a gassed up track sitting outside containing all your worldly possessions. So I'm off to Asheville a few days early, without a route in mind because of all the snow storms, but I do have an ipod and a sleeping bag and insulated mug so I should be set for days. With that in mind it's time to consider the best roadtrip-moving songs of all time. In no particular order here's my take pre-trip. I will check back in from Asheville with a report of what really hit the spot. Needless to say I will listen to these songs AND ONLY THESE SONGS until I reach my destination.

Good for moving but maybe not for winter (or this millennium):

Good for watching while you're driving but not in the winter:

Best album for moving anywhere anytime: This is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About

One of the best songs ever but not totally relevant to moving, other than being rad:

Great for moving and driving but not a lot else:

I need a navigator

2010-12-03T12:04:00.001-08:00

Does anyone know the best way to drive across the country? Let's just say hypothetically we're talking about starting in Seattle and ending up in Asheville, NC. And you want to do this drive in the middle of winter. These are the two options I'm considering:

Seattle-Salt Lake-Santa Fe-Dallas-Asheville

Seattle-Bozeman-Boulder-St. Louis-Asheville

It seems like wherever you go in early January there's a good chance you'll hit bad roads/weather. I'm leaning towards just getting there as fast as possible since I'll probably be wrecked no matter what.

And if you or someone you know is along one of those routes and is interested in hosting a cyclist in transit, well I happen to know a guy...

A few big things

2010-11-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

My world experienced some big changes recently! They were a long time coming, and are still sort of yet to happen, but we crossed the tipping point:

OUT: Power

IN: Heart Rate

After several years of power based training I'm going full circle and returning to the HRM. I say full circle because this isn't just a retro throwback, it's actually the latest and greatest. Basically, the theory goes that power is a mechanical measurement that does a good job of quantifying your mechanical output, but does a horrible job of telling you about its biomechanical impact. The new program is actually based around lactate levels, but since there aren't reliable or convenient lactate monitors, HR is the closest you can get. Right now it's lots of Z2, which sort of feels like setting yourself on self-destruct mode.

OUT: Fruit, Veggies, Protein

IN: Carbs

The last two seasons I created for myself what I thought to be a really great diet. Sort of anti-inflammatory, sort of paleo-inspired, sort of gluten free. It seemed to work well for a few months at a time but then towards the end of last year it was definitely not working. Well after a few blood tests it looks like I was running a chronic glycogen deficiency, which doesn't lend itself well to bike racing. It seems like lots of other people have experienced the same up/down with that style of high-nutrient density, low-caloric density diet: immediate performance gains and weight loss, followed by stagnation, poor performance, and stomach woes. Well I'm happily back on pasta and bread and cereal yogurt and holy hell do I LOVE it.

OUT: Seattle

IN: Asheville

I'm pulling the trigger. New Year's day (right after the Burnaby 4) I'm driving across the country to my new home through (at least) fall of 2011. After lots of debating, Asheville, NC kept coming up tops for weather, roads, community, cost of living, proximity to races, and most of all, radness. It's a great time of year to move since I get a New Year's Eve going away party, and will hopefully roll into Asheville in time for my birthday. AND I just met my two awesome new roommates + dogmate on Skype, hopefully they're ready!

OUT: Dancin

IN: Illin

The winter weather and life changes have shifted my soundtrack. Here are some selections:

Acceptance

2010-11-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting all year to listen to this song in the right context, and finally--calendar and weather permitting--the time has come. Much as I like the song on its own, it just doesn't resonate the same when it's a sweaty 90 degrees out as when it's a shivery 30 degrees out.

Here's a song link since the video's not great sound: Cold November

The broader message for me is that everything is contextual. Things work in certain situations better than others; at certain times, in certain places, and to/with/for certain people.

It's really easy to make plans. When you make a plan, even huge setbacks aren't a big deal because... you planned for them. You could say it's even the essence of being human to plan--to think in abstract rather than respond to what's in front of you. But sometimes even the simplest of plans, that exist on a level we don't even recognize as "planning," don't work right: "I'm going to listen to X song and it's going to be rad because it's a rad song."

And then the temptation is to fight for your plan. To OVERCOME and PERSEVERE, those are supposed to be really great qualities. There's for sure a time and place for that, but it's not ALWAYS the time and place for it.

Winter is a good time to focus on another great quality: ACCEPTANCE. It's a reminder that fighting for what you want sometimes means not fighting for it. While riding in the snow is rad, and yes you're super duper hardcore for not missing a day of "training," you're not going to be so fast in two months with your broken hip.

Acceptance doesn't have to be dramatic. It doesn't have to change your actions. Right now a big part of it is simply not fighting winter, not getting bent out of shape EVERY EFFING DAY that it's cold, or wet, or most likely, both. Acceptance isn't pretending you aren't hurt, it's simply acknowledging the injury, and absorbing it into your reality in a constructive way that ignoring it or whining about it don't accomplish.

Acceptance is about not forcing your own agenda on a situation that clearly doesn't support it. It doesn't require enjoying doing so. It just means that if you have tendonitis, and it's 35 and raining, and you maybe also have a tickle in your throat, then get over yourself and take a nap and read a book.

Acceptance is not laziness. It's about plugging into the ebb and flow of your life. Inhaling and exhaling are a package deal. Let the breath out, then when you're good and ready, hit it hard and treat yourself to some air. Why is it so hard to see that in everything else we do? It's not letting yourself out of your PLAN when you don't feel like doing it; it's letting your plan go altogether on a day to day basis and letting your body take over.

We humans love to parade around talking about how smart we are, and how great it is we've RISEN above our bodies and control them to do our bidding, even outsmarting them now and then to extract greater potential. Well if it were up to you to figure out how to heal even the smallest cut, if your body decided to take a day off and leave it up to the smart ass living inside its skull, do you think you'd know what to do?

ACCEPT that you don't always know what's best for you, at least the conscious part doesn't, but that there's another part of you that does, and it's constantly trying to communicate what's going on in the engine room even while the Captain is slugging whiskey in the bridge.

*UPDATED (moments after writing)

Hegyvary ends hibernation: the Hedge Fund looks to bolster assets in 2011

2010-10-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

UnitedHealthcare p/b Maxxis rider Adrian Hegyvary recently woke up from a six week nap and will begin training this coming Monday. Early reports indicate the tall rouleur from Seattle was somewhat grumpy-pants from waking up before November, but was still able to see some positive in the situation: "I awake from the nap still in October, but we speak together with the physio, biomechanic, the management, we decide ah, it's still okay, November 1 begins Monday, and each week begins also Monday, and numbers begin 1, and even God himself began Monday, so yes perhaps I make preparations and begin also."

Hegyvary remained tight lipped about his goals for 2011. "I dream during hibernation to win the Giro, to wear the Maglia Rosa is so great a monument. And this tricot together with the rainbow bands of world champion show the support of cycling to the GLBTQ community, we know the Tifosi appreciate this also because always they shout "queer!" during our preparations. So the pink tricot I believe to be more special than the Maillot Jaune, its yellow we know to show affections to those sufferers of jaundice during the great wars."

When informed that his team would not be riding any grand tours in the coming year, Hegyvary was nonplussed. "Yes perhaps this is true, the programme is a management issue. And also it is true that to ride a grand tour is very tiring, and to win the Giro some say is too difficult and I arrive to the Charlotte crit possibly without force in the legs. So we decide and feel the sensations and determine the best programme."

The fall was not without controversy for "Hedge," however, as a failed emissions test nearly left the rider stranded and forced him to walk several hundred meters. "It is true, I received some days ago a notice from DMV to inform of a positive of Carbon Dioxide in the emissions, but I tell them this is not possible, I never have heard of Carbon Dioxide until just this day, and anyway I do not know where it could come from. Possibly it comes from my dog which sat beside me during the testing, and also produced emissions. And anyway, an auto cannot run on mineral water alone."

Hegyvary went on to criticize the DMV for its testing protocols. "We travel and race too frequently, then come home and they test these emissions, and it's too much! We are humans too, we must rest and instead are treated as dogs." The 26 year old did not respond when informed that all licensed vehicles are required to be tested, not just those belonging to cyclists, and only once every few years.

As winter nears, Hegyvary remains philosophical about the lessons from 2010 and what the upcoming season holds. "Surely I would have had several victories but for the preparations. In the spring together with the biomechanic we decide to ride 177.5 cranks on the left and 180 on the right for criteriums, but also with the square chainrings it is too much change and in time trials the bike turns always to the left, which my trainer says is not so fast as to go straight all the time." And though the central-European rider is known in particular for his gumption and moxy, 2010 was not without illness. "Later after we switch to hexagonal chainrings I think, okay, maybe my force will now return, and surely some weeks later I see a gain of 40 watts even while coasting. But to celebrate I remained out of the sensory deprivation recovery chamber one afternoon to write an email to a friend, the first time I make human contact since autumn. I awake next morning with boogers in both eyes and nose, and yes the team physio confirms it is a computer virus and I must take three weeks off the bike. Normally it would be so long but together with the physio we perform ice baths in a CoQ10 solution in complete darkness, and after two weeks I could again make small training rides, only 200-300km at first, but another week later back up to 600km daily."

But with the lessons from 2010 fresh in his mind, it is with tremendous optimism that Hegyvary will commence training. "Already I have started with small walks, only some meters at first, but yah, now several kilometers at one time and on some hills also. It's possible with this progression that even after one month I can begin to again use my arms, and at this point return to the bike."

We hope the progress continues and that the Hedge Fund continues opening accounts and closing deals in 2011!

Revision/retraction

2010-10-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

In light of some recent findings I'm going to have to modify my perfect world music video to the following. Also be sure to take part in the democratic process to the right; polls close Nov. 2.

Oh, and it's time! To clarify, I'm the hardcore woodsman, not the corrupted eurotrash.

Cycling

2010-10-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Every off season it seems like I go through the same cycle of recovering, remotivating, redirecting, restarting; yet somehow I'm always surprised when it happens again.

The first part of the cycle is being really effing tired. I don't think it's always a reflection of the year, or of my physical state, it's more of a mental/emotional fatigue that's compounded by the sudden change in activity. You spend all year building and building, then all of a sudden just pull the rug out from all of it. Healthy long term, catastrophic short term. I feel pretty numb to everything for about two weeks, in fact usually getting more and more tired each day as everything shuts down. I can't sleep at night because I'm too tired, there's too much change. This is what it would sound like if it were a song:

The next phase is right at the bottom of that trough. Metabolism, hormone levels, etc. all start to equilibrate to the new workload (or lack thereof) and finally I can sleep through the night, feel energetic and alert all day, and eat a third of what I was during the season. This cycle seems to last about another two weeks, each day getting a little better, like the fog lifting from around you. Here's what this, and coincidentally my perfect world, looks like:

The third cycle is where I am now. It's like an overcompensation from the depletion of the season. Everything feels heightened, like an off-season version of peaking. I return to not being able to sleep, but now because I'm not tired at all. It's like an uncomfortable state of mania; I can stay up all night and feel fine the next day, everything feels extra AWESOME, music sounds incredible, every girl is the coolest chick you've ever met, everyday is the best day you've ever had. This is what it's like:

But with that comes a lot of restlessness. I can't sit still in class, my body seems to know it's recovered and supposed to be moving WAY more than we are right now. It's a fun time of year for the novelty of it, but it also feels a bit like I drank too much coffee and am fueled by jitteriness rather than authentic energy.

That's about the time I think it's okay to go back to training: when you're so sick of resting that it literally starts to drive you crazy. Last year I made the mistake of starting back at the end of phase 1; basically, right when I was physically rested enough to begin again but not before I was really ready mentally.

Cycling and most endurance sports are probably very unhealthy at the "professional" level. Training is pushing your body beyond its capacity then hoping it will catch up. And to try to do that better than anyone else means you frequently push too hard, too frequently. Then we compound that with these unnatural cycles of exertion--weeks at a time without a break during the season, then weeks at a time of rest in the fall. I started some gym work and am horrified how weak I became over the season. The first day I could do only 20 pushups. Two days later I was still tired and could do about five. Two days after that I could barely do one. That weekend I went hiking, tripped on a rock, and didn't even have the arm strength to catch myself and face planted. WTF?! Cycling is a very low-strength sport. Throughout the year you lose strength but the aerobic capacity increases. Then in the off season you're like a tiny little car with a big engine... you have the fitness to really rally, but trash yourself in the process.

Anyway, thankfully this little cycle is coming to its end and I can get back the fun kind of cycling. Training, the last phase of the cycle, is just a good old fashioned show down between your mind and body to see who can hold out longest. Just like this:

The Dead Weather - New Music - More Music Videos

Last ride of 2010

2010-10-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

This year my plan to stay off bikes for a few weeks was postponed by a nice little ride down in the Bay Area. UnitedHealthcare sponsors the Ride 2 Recovery, which is a series of bike rides around the country supporting injured veterans through their rehabilitation process. Crane and I were lucky enough to be welcomed onto the weeklong ride for their first leg from San Francisco to Santa Cruz.

Generally when we do these "sponsor" rides it's somehow about "us," the team, the racing, etc. This was a really refreshing break from that, since it's my first event where we were there simply to support other people. The team has been doing these rides all year, so many of the participants knew something about who we are, why we're there, and so forth. But in a nice change of pace, we could just ride and listen to the very compelling stories of other people and what they do on bikes, and how riding has changed their lives.

Before the ride we were advised that in addition to those with obvious physical injuries, many of the participants are recovering from PTSD and other mental traumas, and we shouldn't feel insulted if we're met with a bit of reservedness. Generally it seems like the "issue" of veteran recovery is highly politicized, and their stories are tugged back and forth by people, politicians, media trying to appropriate their stories to show how compassionate and patriotic they are. Then when it's no longer en vogue to talk about, the VAs are left forgotten once again. This ride felt like a rare exception; it was completely non-political, no one was asking for anything or trying to sell something. The purpose is simply to spread the word that fighting in wars really effs a lot of people up, and it can be really difficult to come back from those injuries, but these 200-300 soldiers have managed to do so at various levels and bicycling helped them on their journey.

The vibe on the ride was awesome and if I were ever going to do a "charity" ride I would for sure sign up for one of these (non-military can ride with a minimum donation). Having never been in the military I can't confirm this 100%, but these guys ride bikes together like you'd imagine army guys to ride bikes together. They stop and eat donuts, they tell really awesome jokes, they never EVER give up, they push each other up hills, and they appreciate every minute of it.

There aren't very many times when it feels like bike racing "accomplishes" much in the world. And to be clear, we really didn't do much on this ride. But it goes a long way for me to see how professional sports fit into the social fabric, and how athletes can affect other people's lives beyond what bike they chose to buy. To the few guys I got to ride with and who shared their stories with me, Carlos and Nate in particular, thank you for your commitment to your job, your families, your own recovery, and the perspective you offer the rest of us in doing so.

Exciting things

2010-09-24T10:57:00.001-07:00

End of the season! Not much else to it, time for some h-core down time. Some of the exciting things about next season year have started to come out, other stuff will take longer. But there's lots exciting going on around here.

I went on a hiatus from new music over the summer but I can't get over these guys. At first I thought it was a joke, and it sort of is and isn't, but ultimately I think this is one of those bits that rides the edge between satire and archetype... or something. Like the Daily Show even, it almost hides behind the satire to bring something pretty revolutionary into the stream. Die Antwoord has somehow managed to bypass the entire recording industry, adopted their own DIY style and put their music on youtube, played Coachella just a few months later, and already have people remixing their album weeks before its release. It's definitely love or hate artistically, but you can't argue with their approach.

Anyway, bike racing. US Pro was a good way to end the year. I didn't feel like I had my legs enough to hit it out of the park, but still felt like I was finishing strong both days. The TT was tough, all rolling hills and mostly headwind climbing and tailwind descending, which added to the on/off nature of the course. It's tough to modulate efforts on courses like that, and I wasn't able to really go deep and empty the tank. I finished sixth, less than 2 seconds off my goal of top-5.

The road race was okay; we coasted the first hour, during which time a group of three gained 18 minutes on the main field. Then we went hard up Paris mtn, coasted, went hard, coasted... not the most fun way to ride for five hours. I felt better than during the time trial and was doing support all day, bottles twice a lap then helping with positioning on the climb. The last time I came off during the attacks and finished in the second group. But I was happy to finish, I went in not wanting to DNF my last race of the year and have a good feel for the course now. Nationals moves to Memorial Day weekend next year, and with a day between the TT and RR it will be better for everyone. Both courses are okay for me if I'm going well, so they'll for sure be goals for next season.

But for now I'm enjoying not thinking about goals and training and racing, and plan to get a proper rest in. Next season will be two months longer and have many many more racing miles, and nothing gets you ready for training quite like Halloween costumes, new music, sitting in class... all on the horizon shortly.

Oh, ahhh, hi... this is awkward...

2010-09-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

Heyyyy, blog, I didn't expect to see you here. I mean, I should have, it's just... it's been so long. It's not you, it's me, I was just... But it's not like I was writing to someone else. Well, except for that twitter thing, but I thought we both decided that doesn't count. And I guess I wrote some letters but it was in pencil so that's okay, right? Besides, while we're pointing fingers, what's up with all these Chinese people commenting on you?

Putting this behind us, here are some thousand-word highlights from the last few months:

Nephew!

Utah!

Elk Grove!

In short, the racing was okay but we lost some of the mojo that dominated the earlier part of the year. I personally had some bad races featuring crashes with hurt body parts, then not crashing but still having hurt body parts in the form of very very bad guts. It took me nearly a week to recover from that last episode at Utah, but recently things started to come around again, hopefully just in time for my last races of the year at Pro TT/RR in Greenville.

And now a moment of introspection. Things are getting really exciting for next year and I'm psyched to be returning to the team for another season. There should be lots of details coming out in the coming month about what we'll be doing, and I'm just as eager as anyone to hear them! But taking a step back, this year turned into more of a "learning experience" than I had hoped (i.e. I thought I knew more than it turns out I did). At times I was pretty disappointed with how I was riding and I never felt like I had my legs under me like last year. Recently I've spent a good deal of time looking back on the year, and now that I have enough points on the graph I can start drawing lines to figure out where I went wrong and what to change. For better or worse, it sounds like next year will be even more "shock and awe" for me so I hope the lessons from this year will transfer.

My theory of the universe is that there are times when you get screwed and it's not your fault, and times you luck out beyond what you "deserve;" but if you keep at it long enough they balance each other out, so success lies in not changing your MO whenever you're at one of those troughs or peaks. Right now I feel pretty lucky to be included in a D2 program for 2011, though I remind myself that, like most cyclists, I have a bank full of "getting screwed" experiences to make up for it. So, come ten days from now when the season is over, I'm going to take a nice, long, mental health break and not think about any of it. And hopefully not thinking about it will be the perfect way to figure out how to make next year a crusher of a season.

SEA-LAX-LAS-VAN-SEA-E.WA

2010-07-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

Busy few days I've just come from. First was a trip to the Manhattan Beach GP in the LA area. The trip went really well but the race didn't; a break went without one of the four of us in it, and a crash during the chase took out two of us. Jake showed his depth by winning the field sprint after participating in the chase, but all the important spots were already up the road.

Next was a jaunt over to Vegas for some sponsor activities. Thankfully we were kept busy so we didn't try to ride in the 110 degree heat too frequently. It was so hot that our bikes started shifting funny from the hot cables stretching, and Jake broke a spoke from the temperature change between the air conditioned room and the hot asphalt. We had a nice time with some 250 kids at a YMCA kids camp sponsored by UnitedHealthcare, where we talked about bike racing and what all we do. We also spent some time meeting and greeting real-live UnitedHealthcare employees at one of their regional headquarters. It's always nice to get these chances to take a step back and hear that people really do like to follow what we do--it somehow makes the whole thing seem almost generous. Almost. Okay, well at least not quite so selfish. Whatever.

Then in a dramatic climatological change I whisked myself up to Vancouver (where there were exactly HALF as many degrees as in Vegas) to race the Yaletown GP. I can't say enough about the trip: the promoters housed us out-of-towners in a beautiful downtown hotel, bought us dinner and drinks on a very festive Canada Day eve, and after all that THANKED US for coming up! I feel a bit ashamed for our racing community and how badly we stiff the poor Canucks when they come down to race with us; they get absolutely nothing in return, no prize money, no housing, no meals, no entry fees, and sometimes even have to pay for some stupid state "license" to do a one-day event. I'm sorry, Canada.

Anyway, the racing was great too, except for the part where Svein Tuft absolutely destroyed all of us, but even that wasn't so bad once we accepted our fate. We tried a bit of a chase but he was still riding away and no one else would contribute, so we pulled the pin and raced for second. Tuft lapped the field and kept going, we set up Pinner and he took the field sprint for second. We also won most of the pack primes, and I even kept pedaling after the leadout long enough to roll in fourth. AGAIN, thanks Canada! You're the best.

So then after a nice night with the friendly Vancouverites, then a stellar breakfast and late slumber, we each went our respective ways for a sunny morning spin. I'm not sure what the other boys did, but I went lone-wolf and explored what felt like most of downtown, though I don't really know "where" I was ever. Here are some selected pictures from the little expedition.

I like finding the industrial parts of cities; it's kind of like ignoring what someone's wearing at a dinner party and instead looking through their laundry basket. That's where's the character!

The port/train area not far from the downtown/condo area:

I just really liked this building, that's all:

I accidentally almost got on this freeway and climbed over this fence to a conveniently placed bike path:

Stanley Park, just a few minutes from our hotel in downtown:

And now I'm off again for a few days, after which I'll be off again for a few more days. The first part will be a time trial training camp over in Eastern WA. I've had barely any time on the TT bike this year, and the times I've had I wasn't thrilled with, so I'm going to put lots of work into it over the next week. Rough plan: ride to Ellensburg tomorrow, do TT intervals for three days, then ride home. All on the TT bike, off-bike time will be spent in the hills outside town. After that it's straight back to my new favorite city (!) for the Tour de Delta. Summer summer summer!

On the lam, off the wagon

2010-06-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

Clearly I dropped the blogging ball, and and the worst part is it's a hole that keeps digging itself if you feel compelled to catch up. Well it's been long enough that I no longer feel that compulsion so I'll just give a few pictures and some bullet points and be done with it. In reverse chronological order:

-I'm going to try twitter because maybe I have more one liners in me than full thoughts. @ahegyvary.
-Manhattan Beach GP tomorrow, flight in a few hours. Then a few weeks without flying! After a short stop in Vegas...
-Nature Valley GP and Airforce: the team went 5 for 5 in sprint finishes, looks like our train finally got some wheels. Rory's coup in the overall was a very nice bonus.
-Philly: made it 200k, not happy to not finish but I felt like I made the most of it and learned good stuff about long, hot races.
-Collarbone: still broken, but you know, whatever.

Now lots of pictures! Also going backwards in time.

Drugs

2010-05-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

I've started to crack about all the doping stuff right now, for two reasons. First is obvious: that people are doing it. But what's cracking me more is hearing everyone's expert commentary on the matter.

To be clear: not all professional cyclists do drugs. Period. Not even the majority. Maybe some guy has an incredible ride, or a breakthrough season, or does something on a bike you couldn't do; that still doesn't give you a window into his soul or the right to point a finger and scream cheat.

My most recent way of analogizing doping is that it's like date rape. You pull together a bunch of guys, put them in a little pool, and hold up what they perceive to be limited number of available opportunities. The truly competitive ones would never cheat because they realize it defeats the whole purpose of the game, also known as life. Those guys still get the girl, maybe only one, but they live happily ever after because that was the whole point, they were intrinsically motivated.

But then there's the selfish, insecure d-bag whose only source of self worth is through the eyes of others--winning race trophies or getting trophy girls. He misses the point so much that he's willing to do the ultimate dishonor of cheating the only person who really even cares--himself. He'd rather drug himself or drug the girl just to be able to wave a prize above his head and get pats on the back. Then he goes off to live miserably in spite of it all, die unhappy, and screw over a whole community in the process.

So as much as it pains me to see the sport that I spend so much time and energy working at disgraced when one of these assholes turns up positive, it's almost as painful to read a litany of "expert" accusations on effing Facebook after every race. I'm not saying put your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't happen; just have a little respect for the sport, the people who do it, the people who've effed up and are taking a second crack at it, and maybe even do positive things to see your community change. Or just turn off the TV and tweet about the neighborhood t-ball match if you can't take the doubt.

The analogy extends into the process of punishment, as the current system lacks pretty much every kind of due process guaranteed in other areas of life. Take Ballan for instance, who was benched in early April because a newspaper linked him to a corrupt doctor without any further proof. BMC suspended him to put on a show and he missed two months of racing. I'm not saying he's innocent, or that it shouldn't be investigated, because I DON'T KNOW, just like you. Throw the book at him if he did it, suspend him for life for all I care, but do it because he actually did it, and that's what the rules say, and that's what we all agreed on before we started playing the game.

Doctors and Lawyers continue working through malpractice suits, drunk drivers get their licenses back, felons are paroled and, in a perfect world, "rehabilitated." Everyone is entitled to the rewards and suffers punishments of our rules, including the shitheads coming back from a suspension. We don't have lifetime bans for first time offenses. Whether or not that's right is another discussion. But however painful it is to see totally unrepentant cheats coming back to the sport after sitting on the bench for two years, we can't have this process of continuing to drag them and the sport through the mud by questioning whatever they accomplish for the rest of their lives. If we can't do them that respect, if we can't operate under a presumption of innocence and recognize the humanity even in those who break our rules, then let's just discard this whole legal facade, take a hint from horse racing, and march the dopers out behind the barn with a .22 to put them out of their misery, rather than begrudgingly letting them back in the game without ever letting them get the ball.

Okay, rant done, gratuitous nephew picture just to brighten spirits. Group hug! Go on, hug someone, DO IT, it will make you feel better. Okay.

It's a boy!

2010-05-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

There was a great big surprise today in the form of my nephew, Zoltán, deciding he was ready to be born a full three weeks ahead of schedule! My sister went into labor last night and 14 hours later the little man made his entrance. She did it all without pain meds because she's a tough Hungarian broad, though I did make some calls during the day to check in on dad who I thought might need more help.

Little Zoli is a bit over 7lbs, I don't remember the stats but he's healthy and on the bigger side for being three weeks early. His nose is a little smooshed and his feet were purple, but apparently those will fix themselves, and if not then at least he has halloween covered for the rest of his life. Mom also looked great though both looked they could use a nap and a good meal... guess who's first in line for the latter, though.

Though it was a big surprise having Zoli arrive so soon, I'm psyched to be here since I'll be off racing the month of June and would have missed it all had he been more patient. And today was a great first taste of unclehood: swoop in for the fun and pictures in between all the dirty work. Little Zoli and I will get along just fine. I'm also excited my sister and her hubby chose Zoltán, which is a Hungarian name I had in my back pocket for a kid of my own... but considering I'm lacking not just a baby but also a baby-mama, I applaud the decision! Just a few more years of diapers and rattles until uncle Adrian can start shaping the little guy into the most badass Hungarian toddler on the continent. Can't wait!

It's a cruel, cruel, kind world

2010-05-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

So there I was, ten minutes from home and racing the rain on my first real ride outside in more than a week. Flat tire. Okay, okay, haven't flatted in training all winter, funny it needs to happen now, but so be it, universe. Pull out the spare tube and think "hmm, that valve doesn't look very long," but proceed. I stare for a few minutes at my repaired but uninflatable wheel, valve not even visible from the rim, waiting for either divine inspiration or intervention. Okay, universe, okay, TOUCHÉ, you got me.

BUT, and this is where the story gets good, then along comes a kind samaritan--no, a bike trail angel--who stops and accepts as a trade my impotent, diminutive-valved tube for his significantly more virulent tube, and within minutes I'm rolling again, shaking my fist at the skies all the way home, at which point they released an unholy rain that hasn't stopped since. Take that, universe! Or maybe, more accurately, I'll take it, universe!

Finally I'm up to two steps forward with only one step back, rather than the opposite. After my little velodrome miscalculation last weekend the riding has been great; two hours a day, little bit of intensity, and now back on the road thanks to my latest tinkering (pictured below). I even came up with a new roller workout: ride as hard as you can until you can see yourself in the puddle of sweat. It takes me about an hour, time yourself at home!

Shut down

2010-05-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

I was getting excited to report that I'm back on the road, but apparently I got a little greedy. Saturday I tried upping everything, did an hour on the rollers in the morning then went to the track and rode an hour of tempo. I forgot how bumpy the track was but didn't think much of it at the time. Sunday I woke up and felt like I was hit by a truck. Everything hurt, shoulder included, and I was just exhausted. I guess it all just caught up with me.

So I learned my lesson, I'm back on the rollers now, and trying to rest more. It's easy to ignore the systemic stress of all this stuff, even just all those stupid pain drugs. If I had to do it all over again I would take as few drugs as possible, pain be damned, and just concentrate on sleeping the first week to maximize the healing. It's really not a big deal either way, I bet doing everything perfectly will get you maybe one or two extra days, I guess unless you go and really hurt yourself...

I did manage to mow the lawn one-handed today, and have been doing some coloring. Back to the basics. Music is also still just as good even without the narcotics. Here are some of the recent rock out songs. Be sure to listen to the first all the way through, it's a bit of a musical adventure, one that requires some patience at the beginning in order to get it good at the end.

Phase two

2010-05-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

Everything is progressing nicely. I'm halving the pain meds every day and still feeling about the same. I figure if I want to start riding I need some realistic feedback about how the shoulder is feeling, and pain serves that purpose nicely, even if it is a bit of a drag the rest of the time. Sitting so up right feels good on the shoulder but not so good in other places, so I switched to rollers for a more natural pedal stroke. Turns out riding rollers with a busted collarbone isn't hard at all, but setting up a camera and getting on the bike within 10 seconds is a stretch. This is the closest I could get:

Still a few more days of trying to limit sweating, then I'll probably yank the dressings and start some real rides. The discerning reader might notice the ice pack in the photo, that's so I can try to keep the shoulder cool and sweat-free while riding. It's what you might call a system. My first race is three weeks from Sunday, so the timing is still just fine. But these little spins should go along way towards keeping up the mental health and muscle memory, and hopefully streamline the comeback.

Ye of little faith

2010-05-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

The betting pools are closed, two people scored big, the rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves! I'm in the midst of some 10min on/off trainer spinning. I had hoped it would take me longer to start sweating, but apparently I'm a furnace and it takes me only a few minutes to start dripping. Right now the game is protecting the incision (covered by waterproof dressing) so until then I need to keep dry. But things are picking up 'round these parts!

It's all going to be just fine

2010-05-11T21:44:00.001-07:00

I had surgery yesterday to mend my broken collarbone. Everything went well, I have a titanium plate and some screws keeping everything tight. Thanks to Dr. Oseto for getting me pieced together less than 48hrs after the digger. I haven't had my post-op yet, but as Jimmy pointed out, hopefully I'll have some tricks up my sleeve after I recover:

Everything feels good and the only difficulty right now is sitting still. I'll probably hop on the trainer today or tomorrow just to move the legs, though sweating is off limits. I've been thinking about micro-training, doing 15min at a time, then hopping off so I don't muck up the incision. We'll see. In the meantime I've been enjoying the pain meds by doing art projects like the collage below. Not so bad, being broken.

Crash sequence

2010-05-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

And also a red hot track from Dan for post-op. His description: "It's like Portishead hit a dubstep train wreck and Chopin was the intoxicated driver." I'm hoping to have some very intense musical experiences following anesthesia. I'll keep you updated.

The poetic retelling of a sad sad day

2010-05-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

You silly rabbit,
four corner crits are for kids!
Why not give them twelve?

Dear turn number ten:
Why were you covered with oil?
Slow down jackasses!

I fell off my bike,
the pile of bikes broke my wing.
Fly in circles now.

First, second, fourth, sixth!
Sorry I wasn't there too.
Philly in four weeks.

Woke up this morning,
found out that a truck hit me.
At least I woke up.

There's an empty fridge,
empty house, empty dog bed;
when it rains it pours.

No more biking now.
Only yogurt, vegetables,
and hydrocodone.

Pitty party's done,
not sure what will take its place.
Suggestions welcome.

This one goes out to my bike:

La Clássica José Martín

2010-05-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

We're halfway through Joe Martin, one time trial and one road race completed. It's been a bit of an adjustment to go from 90min crits at night to time trials and road races, but the legs came around about three hours into the road stage yesterday in time for a good chase. The results haven't shown very highly of us so far, but I think we've worked out the kinks and we have two good stages left to pull it together.

I'm finding this trip that it takes a fair bit of extra focus to keep getting excited about every moment of every race. Speedweek especially, with seven crits in nine days, it was just difficult to keep lining up completely THERE. It always comes around during the race, we're all excruciatingly competitive and love what we're doing, but sometimes that 5% of laziness loses it.

More and more this sport comes down to who has the head for it, since at any given race maybe a quarter of the field has the legs for it. We spend so many hours of so many days racing that it's easy to get overly comfortable and let the race happen around me rather than engaging fully and playing it out on my own terms.

Once again it strikes me that we all probably have the same problem everywhere else in life. Work, school, family, relationships, whatever... complacence and comfortability seem like the shortcut but always screw you in the end. Maybe laziness is an effective survival instinct but it sure makes for a mediocre existence. And of course the only thing worse than trying your hardest and losing is getting to the finish having "conserved" your way out of the W.

So today and tomorrow the goal is to do it the hard way. Saving is dumb--especially when it comes to energy and life. Racing is about shooting off bullets left and right and seeing who's the left when the dust settles. I mean how boring would cowboy movies be if they all just hid behind up-turned bar tables shouting insults and counting how much ammo was left? I say we should all be a little more cowboy and channel a little Clint Eastwood every day of our lives:

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

I'm sorry I let you down Clint, I'll try be more badass today.

Revival

2010-05-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

Have you ever liked a song enough that you considered going out and buying it? I know, crazy! Well dubstep has made a come back on my rotation this week and Dan sent me some tracks from Mt. Eden Dubstep which have been great to keep the fire burning between races. It's really more just "dubstep influenced" than off the boat gritty dubstep, but whatever. Anyway, you have to listen to it LOUD and with high quality speakers/headphones or you won't hear the low range.

Most mellow:

Most emo:

Most catchy:

Most agro:

Most jammin:

But other than that not much to report. We have another day to get ready for Joe Martin here in Fayetteville. We have a great hotel with full kitchens so life just got WAY better. Arkansas is otherwise about the same as where we just came from, though the last time I was here was following Gila and it seemed super humid; coming from the SE it actually feels cool and dry, so that should be better for us. Word on the street is this team (in previous incarnations) has won this race every year since its current inception. No pressure.

+1 = 4/7

2010-05-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

Jake and Karl went 1-2 in the Sandy Springs final today. Jake also won the U25 competition, he and Karl went 2-3 in the series overall, and we won the team competition.

It was hot today, around 90 and humid, and unfortunately I didn't have the legs from yesterday. I covered moves but was just slaying myself to do anything. Pinner and I got in a move of six in the closing laps, I attacked on three to go to set it up for him and take pressure off the lead out, won two primes, then was happily gobbled up by our own lead out in the final lap. Pinner took Karl and Jake into the final turn and it was over.

We had a long day of driving through three states today and are back in Asheville for two nights before heading to Arkansas. Our bikes left straight from the race so it'll be an off day for us. I think we're all okay with that, since three of us are sick and one is injured. I'm excited for Joe Martin though, the legs are coming around and we should have just enough rest to arrive ready to go.

It works!

2010-05-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

Two more notches in the team belt in as many days. Yesterday in Spartanburg came down to a field sprint after constant reshuffling, and a final lap lead out put Jake in first, Pinner third, and Karl fourth. Today in Charlotte was similar, lots of short lived attacks then a last lap surge put Karl back on the top spot. Here's a picture of our train coming over the top of Bahati with one to go:

(Photo Jimmy Helms)

I've been feeling a bit better the last two days. Nights are rough, lots of congestion, bad sore throat, and a fever for a few nights. Racing feels like I'm breathing through a straw but the legs are good and each day they work a little better, though it still hurts the same. Today was the first race of the week I was happy with, I felt strong enough to attack a lot and cover moves, and even recover from a late attack and jump in the lead out.

It was also nice to catch up with big Dan Harm, fresh off the boat from Trinidad and looking fit. He should be good after a little rest and a regular roof over his head. Apparently this morning he woke up in the middle of a medieval festival after sacking out in a park after last night's race.

Tomorrow is the big Speedweek finale in Sandy Springs, just outside Atlanta. It's a good course, technical with a bit of a hill. We have a good formula going, we're all coming around well, and it should be a really fun race. And for a nice recap of the week check out the race videos below, in chronologic order.

Everything continues

2010-04-29T16:19:00.001-07:00

Things have been a bit down the last few days. I've been pretty sad about the old pup dying; walking past the dog section at the grocery, being chased by the odd mutt, playing with homestay puppies, etc. The same has been true with friends and family who've passed away unexpectedly; when it comes as a surprise it's tough to not think about all the "lasts" that you didn't think would be at the time. That little animal was a part of most of my adult life, so it's strange to wake up one morning in a hotel, not quite knowing what state it's in, and think about the end of an era.

Speaking of hotels, I got what turned out to be a moldy room the other day and got sick. I never believed the old AC thing, but then I went to take a nap feeling great and woke up an hour later feeling like I was hit by a truck. Pinner was hit by it too, and though we've both been able to keep racing (Pinner even on the podium twice), it definitely makes it hurt more and requires more bike clean up. YOU could be next.

The races themselves have been going well and have had guys on the podium every race. Not all of them played out perfectly, but we're racing better together and reducing the number of mistakes made each night. The last two nights, Beaufort and Walterboro, were also two of the darkest, sketchiest races any of us have done so it's nice to come out of them unscathed.

So what I'm realizing is that all these little downers are the same: it's easy to get dragged down by unsolvable problems. Accepting that I'll be returning to an empty house, and that I can still race with the aches and sniffles, and that we can do everything "right" and still not win--the only way to fight back is to keep away from brooding, focus on staying healthy, enjoy where I am, and just do what I know needs to be done. Easy, right?

Tomorrow we'll get a chance to put it all into practice here in Spartanburg, SC. Same old: 90min crit, dark, short course. This time, less thinking, more doing.

Deulogy

2010-04-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

My sister took Hailey in to be put down today. It’s tough being away from home, but probably still easier than being there to do it myself. I adopted her halfway through college and we spent seven good years together. She was a lover of dogs, tug of war, shedding, toilet water, running on funny things like sand or snow, and bed sharing on cold nights. She disliked exercise, bikes, and all but five people in the world. Motion sickness and sensitive guts did not keep her from the finer things in life, like riding in cars and eating chicken fat. She will be missed.

Scared little puppy,
we all have something to learn.
Find patience next life.

The good news and the bad news

2010-04-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

First the good news: we won Athens! Karl got away about halfway through the race in a move that started as three then ballooned. The conditions were completely epic. That word gets used a lot, but this time it's deserved. There were tornado warnings throughout the area, and weather even changed our strategy: we decided to race hard from the gun and watch the lap board, thinking the storm might pick up and the race would be shortened. There was pouring rain, strong gusting winds, and lightning, though most distracting, still lots of summer dresses and running shorts.

No results yet, but the rest of us finished safely in the front group of about 30. We all stayed up, though with about ten to go a guy crashed in front of me and I had to lock it up into the fencing. There was also a deep manhole with sharp edges on dark back straight that people kept falling into. It was pretty spectacular since the exploding tires/wheels gave off big flashes whenever someone ate it. I think we were the only team have everyone stay upright and finish all riders in the front group. Honestly, most of what we talked about after the race was how great our tires were in the wet. None of us slipped even once, and we could all see riders with bad tires or too much pressure consistently opening gaps or crashing. Too bad for them. Maxxis Cormet, 90psi, for anyone who fancies winning bike races.

My night was so so. It took about half the race to start feeling snappy, and by then the move was gone. It was a race that overwhelmed the senses from beginning to end, and the first hour I was a bit wide eyed and feeling like the race was simply "happening to me." Some of that is because of the bad news: I found out a few hours before the race that we're probably going to have to put down my dog before I get home. I got her when I was in college, we've seen each other through a lot, and been good buddies since. She doesn't really like people, so I tried to channel that during the race and do her the honor of effing some people up, though it might take a few more days to turn into positive energy.

Today we have a short drive to another 80min crit in Roswell, GA. The weather is back to upper 70s and sunny, though we'll still probably toe the line with wet shoes. We got to bed last night at 2:30am and this morning I couldn't sleep past 7... I'm hoping for a good nap later. I've also taken to listening to episodes of This American Life during the drives to take my mind off the racing--a habit I picked up during some long solo rides this winter. Yesterday I listened to this one; the second act is a pretty incredible story and a good use of thirty minutes.

The final countdown

2010-04-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Whoa, tornado warnings in Georgia! Tonight is going to be good. I was deliberating, but I'm going to go ahead and say I'm hoping it rains. I also ran across this rather dramatic weather graphic:

Just nine more hours to go. A few old favorites on the drive down will help calm the nerves.

Athens preview

2010-04-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

We survived our week of sloth and tomorrow will head down to Athens for the Speedweek kick off. It's funny being in a different state the night before the race, looking at results from the trainer races. For those unfamiliar, the promoters at Athens run all willing participants through a Computrainer race to seed start positions. Each team gets a few freebie call ups, but otherwise non-participants have to line up at the back of the group. Last year I was third in the qualifiers and had an awesome front row start... this year I suppose I'll find out what the race is like starting from the other end of the field. How about a quick game of where's Waldo:

Another change this year is that they are going to cover all the roads with water. Last year there were puddles of beer, but I just found what the promoters have in store for us tomorrow (9:30pm start, for reference):

We're all excited to get racing, though the last week has been stellar here in Asheville. The riding is, without exaggeration, the best I've ever seen. There are just so many roads, all of them with great pavement, little traffic, great variety of terrain, and moderate weather. There's even a gently rolling river road just a few minutes from downtown where we got in 1hr+ motorpacing sessions. I've been on the lookout for a place to move for winter training, and after this week Asheville jumped way up the list. This what all the roads look like:

I'm not sure if Athens will follow the recent trend of streaming race video, but if there's anything to be seen I bet Chad Andrews will let you know. If there's not, he should be giving updates online while simultaneously calling the race live (somehow). Last year the race finished around 11pm, so plan accordingly. Wish us luck!

NOT in Nashville

2010-04-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

We're here in Asheville, NC spending the week laying low and taking in the sights before Speedweek kicks off in Athens this Saturday. There has been some confusion about our whereabouts, since when you say "in Asheville" it sounds like "Nashville," but saying "Asheville North Carolina" is too many syllables and a little patronizing. So now you know.

I got lazy after the Sunny King weekend and never gave a race update. That's probably a good indication of how the weekend went... nothing really to report. I had a long long travel day Friday, starting at 3:50am and ending at 8pm, albeit free of drama. Saturday morning we had a lovely spin in the Alabama countryside, then hung out until the evening crit. The 90min race kicked off at dusk and was mostly in the dark. It always takes a bit of time to get used to the nighttime crits--figuring out where to look through the turns, learning to ignore the shadows, and trying to remember all the holes and cracks on the course.

I felt about the same at the start line as I did getting off the plane the day before, and took a while to move up. The race was pretty lazy, moves weren't really being forced, it was just constant reshuffling until the right combination came together. Menzies and Crane got away in a big group then the racing stopped until they lapped. Towards the end all six of us were together but a few wheels off the front, and couldn't quite get the timing right to jump in the final laps. It was a little too easy to move up on the downhill, so you either had to get in front of the swarm and take the front, or sit back and deal with the scrum. Karl came 5th in the sprint and wasn't too psyched about it, but so be it.

The road race on Sunday was maybe a bit better for us as a team but still not totally fulfilling. The course was a beautiful, 65mi lollipop with awesome roads, some short kickers, and a hint of wind. I had a nice water bottle attack early on, then Karl countered and got away solo. Small groups bridged across (one with Matt Crane in it) until the break was around ten riders, then I covered a move on a steep 1km climb and got a free ride into the group. I felt great all day, maybe the best legs yet this year, but after 10min in the group I flatted out and got rolling again only in time to rejoin the peloton. I covered another move almost immediately and got most of the way back across, but in the meantime Jake made his way up the road in a small group, so with three guys in the move and a few hitters sitting on my little group, I had to pull the plug.

We rode it in pretty easy, while at the front of the race Matt got into a group with Bazzana and Grajales and made it to the finish in third. Jake and Karl were up there in the sprint from the second group, and my attempt and leading out the main field turned into me riding in alone from about 500m out since no one got on my wheel. It was that kind of race.

But we got what we came for--a little prep to get the legs moving for Athens and its aftershocks and make a bit of money. The riding around Asheville has been really nice so far, and we have a great looking 4hr jaunt ahead of us tomorrow with a bit of time behind a motor later in the week. Today's been spent watching the radar without much luck... I guess Seattle isn't the only place it rains. This week is about recharging so that next week we can charge charge CHARGE it. Couch time is not my forte, so I've been introspecting and making some plans for the off season. This is probably tops. Maybe not this year, or ever, but sometime, something like this--it's calling my name.

Nostalgia

2010-04-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Exciting times are on the horizon as I get ready to fly out to Anniston, AL tomorrow morning. Did you know they have 5am flights leaving from Sea-Tac? Ouugh. I'll spend the better part of today making food for tomorrow, since I'll be greeted with a few hours drive when I land in Atlanta eight hours later. In years past my MO was to take all my food for the first 24hrs of the trip if I flew the day before the race, just so I wouldn't have to stress about finding something reasonably healthy and cheap. Now my rule is just to outlast my teammates so I'm not THAT GUY holding up the train for a convenience store bear claw. Kind of like the guy who stopped to put on his running shoes as a bear was charging; his friend said it was a waste of time since he'd never outrun a bear, to which the guy replied "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just need to outrun you."

I look forward to seeing a new state though, I don't recall ever having been in Alabama. And Anniston looks to be a PRIME example of the state judging by a short look around on the google. I think this gem tops my list of must see sights Anniston has on offer:

The world's largest chair:

Spring also seems to have slowly drifted into the NW this week, and I've been nostalgic for springs past all week. Coachella is this weekend, so spring 08 is the particular focus of that nostalgia. Somehow it took a lot of convincing for me to give up a weekend of racing to go hang out in the dessert with my best friends and watch live music all day, though when I say it like that I'm not sure why it was so difficult. I've wanted to go back since, but don't know when I'll get the chance; so a quick trip down memory lane will have to be the fix for now.

Cross Training:

All this reminiscing about spring 08 has bled into spring 10 soundtrack, so here's the top pick for a warm dreamy April. Something about cheesy synths just bleeds nostalgia.

AND finally, 2010 promises an even more epic southern road trip than last year. One of the great features of Speedweek is that you get to see a new town/state every few days. That's one of the big bonuses of racing, and this series epitomizes it. You can follow all the action starting with a live stream from Sunny King this Saturday night. Also be sure to check out the race preview on cyclingnews. And join me in getting excited about speedweek with a few pictures from last year.

Beaufort, SC homestay:

Athens Twilight podium:

Beaufort, SC tourism:

Spring 10 = [Spring 09-school] x more fun

Confusion

2010-04-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, I took down a new poll because it was poorly worded and everyone was getting it WRONG! It started because I was curious what the USAC rules were, assuming each side's worst-case scenario: hooking another rider vs. throwing something at another rider. And I was also curious what knee-jerk reactions were to the same question. Well rules is rules, and the maximum penalty for a hook is 20 days, while the maximum penalty for throwing something at a rider is one year, plus 20 days for dangerous riding, and 10 days for walking into the middle of the race.

This situation reminds me of the idea of self-defense. Somehow the "right" to defend yourself rings a powerful bell in this society, but the circumstances under which you can use it are more limited than most think. For example, you can't assault someone who's trespassing, or trying to steal something, or who just ran into your car, no matter how malicious. It's frustrating to read the opinions of all these jokers who clearly don't understand the rules or the circumstances of that race. Equally annoying is this David vs. Goliath undertone: that somehow, because our team has a pedigree in the sport and took control of the race, therefore we're all thugs, since the little guy who takes on the giant is always noble.

And by far the hardest part, I'm sure for all of us, is keeping our mouths shut even though we'd like to shout at the top of our lungs defending ourselves. Trying to resolve a dispute like this through the media is like breaking up with your girlfriend via twitter. But at the same time, it feels like by taking the high ground in the long term and remaining tight-lipped, we're losing out in the short term. The social standard seems to be that silence in the face of accusation shows tacit guilt. I hope that at the end of all of this there's some thorough explanation of what happened rather than just a solemn statement doling out punishments; otherwise it feels like our gentle giant tactics won't really have paid off, and we'll remain tied down by all those BS media impressions.

We're not so different, you and I

2010-04-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

Dana Point finished up with plenty of drama after the hard-fought crit. We started a man short after finding out that Tim broke his ankle in the crash; our thoughts were with him on his lonely left-footed drive home, and hopefully he recovers quickly. Our thoughts were also with Jorge Alvarado and his Bahati Foundation team; Jorge was killed just days before the race while training on roads in the area. The racing community is tight-knit, and this was an unfortunate way to be reminded that we need to look after one another.

And on that note: of course the big story of the weekend ended up being the crash in the finale and its aftermath. We've read all the reports, all the twitter manifestos, and it's clear that everything is still really contentious. From the beginning we took the approach of not slinging mud, and it's frustrating to read "journalists" who report after interviewing one rider, and the yokels who comment with "authority" because they "saw everything" from the youtube video. So, doing my best to keep out of the mud slinging, I don't want to write anything about the crash itself, because I don't think it's going to accomplish anything. NONE of us feel good about how the race finished. It wasn't good for anyone, we all had guys go down, it was messy. Pointing fingers personally won't solve that, and USAC and all the teams involved are looking into the situation, and we should respect what they decide.

What I find most tragic about the whole thing, and what I hope becomes the take home message, is that everyone involved looks dumb and we the racing community blew a good chance to represent ourselves. Bahati went through a lot this last week, it was a home race for that team, yet the lasting image for them is Bahati standing in the middle of the road, throwing his glasses into Pinner's front wheel. It would have been awesome for them to have come away with a result in Jorge's memory instead. Same goes for us: we had a good train going at the end of a very hectic race, controlled the finish even after starting a man down, and lost all that work after getting frazzled from the scrum. And for the record, I think the Borrajo brothers had the best take on what went down:

Hopefully we can now all pick each other up and move on, because it's only April, and I don't want to be playing roller derby for the next five months. I'm confident that was that, and we can all get back to a good clean slugfest next weekend at Sunny King. In some ways it's great to have gotten all the jitters out this early in the season, without anyone getting hurt. This year is clearly going to be a big battle in the sprints with just about every team bolstering its speed team, and all of us are hungry to win.

And with that I'm back home for three short days, then off to a four week marathon of crits. I'm excited to use that time to build momentum with the same group of guys, since thus far we've been shuffling rosters enough that every race is spent learning how we all race. The weekend strife also had a nice side effect, at least for me, of learning a bit more about we deal with pressure both on and off the bike. It was a messy race and messier aftermath, and I'm really proud of how my teammates handled themselves throughout it all. We've been professional, introspective, and as critical of our own actions as we have of other's, and that's going to come back in dividends throughout the rest of the season. Nice work boys.

Live Coverage of the Crit

2010-04-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

The Dana Point crit starts at 4pm today, you can watch live online here.

Off for the morning spin now.

Dana Point TT

2010-04-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

We finished up the Dana Point prologue/TT with the top four spots in the field (Brad won, then Pinner, Morgan, and Eric). Good start to the weekend. The course was really tough--not so much the climb, though that was the obvious "feature," it was just difficult to read and figure out how to ride. Pre-riding didn't do it justice. The corners seemed like no big deal and the climb felt long; racing, the course was narrowed quite a bit and felt a lot more technical at speed, and the climb went by pretty fast.

I didn't set the world on fire finishing in 7th; I felt super flat and just didn't have the snap to really charge the course. I didn't think I could go a lot harder right now, but probably could have gone back out for another lap of that pace. The course really required some hard hard surges to keep the speed up, I think I rode too conservatively and never really bit into it. And all of us scared ourselves on the fast downhill turn: 3 lanes to 1.5, 90+ degrees at probably around 40mph. I locked up briefly and thought I was going to eat it, drifted a bit then snuck through. Tim did something similar but unfortunately also hit one of those reflective lane marker bumps and that was enough to lose it. He's mostly okay, but hurt his ankle. Would have been nice if they opened the course for pre-ride since it was so technical.

Hopefully the warm beach air and the hard effort blew out last week's sinus infection. Tomorrow's crit is on a lot of the same roads as the TT and looks like it should be a decent course either for a break or a bunch finish. We have a lot of cards to play, and 90min in which to play them, so it will be fun to see how things go.

It begins

2010-04-08T20:00:00.001-07:00

Leaving bright and early tomorrow morning to kick of the season good and proper. Short time trial on Saturday, then a 90min crit on Sunday. I might be the only guy on the team looking forward to the TT: 2.25mi, lots of flat, downhill, and turning, with one short, 18% kicker. I think it should be a good course for me, though I wouldn't mind if we did, say ten laps of it instead of just one. I'll have to channel some of the pursuit sensations from a few years ago. Take a look:

Sunday should be fairly straight forward for. We have a full team with lots of guys who can win the race. Podiuminsight.com put together a good preview of the race, and she got it right that we've got about 95% of the train dialed; and while that last 5% is always the hardest, once we click someone's going to have work awful hard to derail that train.

I can't say I'm sad to leave after a nice Seattle send off today, complete with about an inch of hail. Just like our leadout train, I snuck in about 95% of a ride without getting any of it. But that last 5% is what counts, and it turns out a few minutes of hail is all it takes to make me fly with a wet pair of shoes tomorrow. Womp womp.

Oh, and rocking out to Sharon Jones for the trip. Time for some summer music.

Wanderlust, mortality

2010-04-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

Other than trips to visit our friendly neighbors to the north, I haven't left the country in more than two years. I think that might be a new record. I'm starting to get the feeling it's time to get a move on. Somewhere warm would be good, and my friend's journal about living in Lisbon provides a constant stream of encouragement. He's also a graphic design prodigy who stays busy keeping the rest of us entertained with videos like this:

Knife Man from mattquann on Vimeo.

Incidentally, I was a little disappointed that no one thinks the world is going to end in 2012 (see poll). Come onnnn, not even just a little bit? Sometimes I just use that as motivation; i.e., "well, if I've only got two more years I may as well get out there and ride my bike." I thought at least one guy would be on board with the 2012 apocalypse after spending so much time on the hippy bus.

And all that got me thinking that maybe a lot of athletes, artists, and other wanderers probably have a more present feeling of mortality than those working desk jobs. At least those of us who aren't big time enough to have extrinsic rewards for the amount of energy our "jobs" consume. I don't mean that in a morbid, impotent, "staring at your belly button" kind of way, but more of a celebratory, "seize the day" kind of way. Whenever something happens that reminds me of the passing of time--someone dies, gets sick, or even married or pregnant--that somehow provides a weird bit of extra focus to live intentionally and make sure I'm not wasting any sand in the hourglass. I can't imagine having that feeling and NOT having something to immediately pursue that I really care about... that would seem overwhelming. And now that I think about it, maybe that's why death is so stigmatized--because it seems like most people don't have an expressive outlet that actually makes them feel alive, so any reminder of that hourglass just comes as a burden.

Okay, less death, more bike racing in the future, I promise. I think it's time to get out of Seattle.

WAIT, WAIT

2010-04-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

I take back the good things I said about the NY Times. They seem to be slipping back into old ways.

And the guy who got tendonitis from too much guitar hero? WTF? Where do these guys come from? In my world, this is what I want to do to get better:

Nice pictures, Mike Hone!

What WE already know (sort of)

2010-04-01T14:03:00.001-07:00

This is a good article from the NY Times about patients with advanced Parkinson's who, though unable to walk, are still able to ride bikes. Having a movement disorder has to be awful, but it sounds like maybe not all movements are affected in all people. If you watch the video, you'll note that the very cheeky doctors put this guy with advanced Parkinson's on his bike without a helmet. Interesting decision. I guess it's a euro thing.

SO as though we needed more evidence, it turns out we should all be active and do lots of fun things, until we can't anymore, and even then we should keep trying. Good to know. This is one small step towards the NY Times redeeming themselves after putting out two horrible articles last year--the first saying that exercise will make you fat because it increases appetite, and the other saying that 30min of "house work" three times a week is sufficient to maintain cardiac health.

It seems like there will have to be a backlash against the idea that inactivity is the norm--or the ideal. It's like the technological revolution spiraled out of control and now we're supposed to go through the day using as little energy as possible... as though that will make us happier. I mean, 30min of housework, seriously? How do you NOT do that? All this while it seems like most diseases can either be prevented, or their symptoms mitigated, by keeping in decent shape and using your body.

So while it's definitely counter intuitive and pretty amazing that Parkinson's patients can ride bikes, how smart are all these scientists who keep discovering the same thing: if you use your body, it stays healthy, and there are no short cuts. Maybe if they spent more time running around playing it would have been obvious to them too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have thirty minutes of vigorous vacuuming to do... got a race coming up.

Oh, hello April, I didn't see you there

2010-03-28T18:58:00.001-07:00

Wow, March is over! At least we're all out of weekends. March 2010... you were a little funny, but not funny LOL, more like funny WTF. Play back?

Glad I'm not starting spring quarter tomorrow morning. Last year was really tough, missing lots of class to travel, including Mt. Hood the week before finals. Uugh. Or racing Walla Walla with my first ever migraine because I had a big project due the following monday. I felt a bit like Jeff Spicoli: "Are you in my class?"... "I am today!" March got in one really good hit on me this year--couldn't do much for the two weeks of finals, then got sick. But April, May, and June, you've got nothing on me this year.

The local racing is also done until maybe summer? Except for the odd Thursday nighter. It's been difficult to get used to. I feel like I have to chose between wanting to place in the race or get in a good workout. It's tough to get anyone to work with me, so I can attack and attack, or chase for no reason, but otherwise the only way to do much is to just wait until we hit about the three hour mark and the fatigue sets in enough to force a move or bridge into whatever break went. I'm happy to have won Independence Valley though, it's one of the best one-day races in the state, and they have pretty good prize money. It was also great to get a chance to race with Morgan. The finish was kind of anti-climactic; the break whittled down to just Todd Herriott and myself after the last climb, and I totally cramped up with about 3km to go. Todd took off, but then I was able to start pedaling through it and bring him back. Then he started to cramp and couldn't stand for the sprint, so there wasn't much to see. I guess all the racing happened before then. And I could see the cramps coming all day--I actually cramped up stepping out of the car BEFORE the race. Ahhhh not sure what's going on there. As Wheeler said, I must be on the rag.

But Galen, Iddings, Herriott... it was nice to be up the road with guys who will commit to the move and work to make it stick, even if it results in cracking. Gentlemen. If more people raced to win, rather than just to make someone else lose, things would really pick up around these parts. And McKissick. McKissick! I guess we can just trade off being marked out of the race. He had his turn today with a 90mi solo win. Savage.

So welcome, April! You're going to kick March's ass. Now that I think about, I'm actually going to go ahead and end March in my world, April starts tomorrow, kind of like how I lived on Central time for the last 6mo. Done. I'm taking a little tip from Bitty Mclean on this one. Before you can do me more wrong, March, we're through! And April, Dana Point, Speedweek, I have expectations, don't let me down, because there are another eight months waiting in line for a good crushing, and I'm in no mood to eff around.

Merced, March: lesson learned.

Anthem

2010-03-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

I know I already posted this--not too long ago--but someone just suggested this become our new national anthem if it ever goes up for a vote, and I think that I agree. It's almost TOO good.

You know you've made it when...

2010-03-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

...the race blog turns to home improvement projects. But I have a good excuse, namely: moving, rainy weather, and getting sick. The perfect storm for some remodeling. And the best part is the home's not really mine to remodel, and the home improvements are all a surprise! Pretty exciting times right now. I also chose some not too subtle colors because I'm tired of dreary, frumpy home insides. I mean, no wonder everyone here has SAD, everything is beige. I think I can actually synthesize Vitamin D from this color scheme:

I also have a new best friend, who's actually the same as my old best friend. We'll be spending lots of quality time together the next few months, and she's been a HUGE help with all the painting. Here she is just taking a quick breather:

And here she is after helping out:

So it should be pretty clear that in just a week of idle time I've totally lost it and need to get back to training. It IS good to be back on west coast time though; I'm happy to report I can now sleep later than 6am and stay up past 10pm. I have just two more weeks to enjoy the simple life then it's off to Dana Point. Then I'm home for a few days, then off again to the southeast for a month. And just like that the season will be ON, and I can stop worrying about things like eggshell finish and cutting in, and get back to the important business of crushing it.

Summer Break!

2010-03-18T17:13:00.001-07:00

Wow, I didn't think I'd be this excited to be done with school! I haven't really been able to ride more than an hour or two each day for the last week, so today after my last final I went out for a big energy purge on the bike. Who knew bike riding was so much fun?! I pretty much just went into breakaway self-destruct mode and rode as fast as I could over as many hills as I could for four hours. It was kind of like if this song were four hours long and could somehow be turned into a bike ride:

So now that the hard part's done I can get back to the easy business of being a cyclist. I realized in Merced how nice it was to be racing because I could finally get some rest. I mean, everything but the hardest stage races in the US are less bike time and kJ than hard training, plus at races there's no work, no school, no cooking, etc. I'm pretty convinced that multi-tasking in the off-season, perhaps to a detriment, serves some kind of adrenal/stress training purpose that helps out during the season. I can't imagine how hard racing (the process) would be if all I did were ride my bike then sit around with my legs up all day.

Well, I guess I'm about to find out! Here's to the longest spring/summer break in the history of the world! Life is good.

Winning and Whining

2010-03-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

I got a lot of comments from people about being disappointed by the race in Merced. It got me thinking about the way we're taught to approach the surprisingly sensitive subject of performance and individuality. We're supposed to be overwhelming humble in victory, and perhaps solemn but still "positive" in defeat. And sportsmanship is great, don't get me wrong; you can win without acting like a tool afterwards, and there's no room anywhere for sulking.

But what I don't like is an anesthetized view of the world that leaves just a narrow window of possible emotions, outside of which you're either an arrogant prick or a hyper-emotional whiney pouty face. Well dammit, if I work my ass off for a long time and have the ride of my life then I'm going to expect a few high fives and a night out on the town (at the least) afterwards. There is, however, a big difference between these two expressions of happiness:

Not classy:

Ballistic happiness, the way it should be:

In the same vein, I think it's important to acknowledge when you screw up, and let yourself get pissed off about it. If you know you did something wrong, yet come out striving for this perpetual "positivity," then you're a lot more likely to never learn from it and just keep repeating the same mistakes. Or worse, you get so used to patting yourself on the back that you don't even realize you screwed up.

So to be clear: internalizing failures and harboring that angry frustrated energy for later is what people do to make themselves get better. Whining and pouting and complaining is what little kids do who don't know how to accept and deal with the problems that confront them. Hopefully it came across that I was doing the former rather than the latter... and if I'm ever in the second category then do your worst to let me know.

Now that we've got that out of the way I can get back to working on finals. I hurriedly learned everything there is to know about seamen (aka Admiralty law) and now I have to quickly forget all of it to make room for the quarter's worth of Civil Rights I need to teach myself in the next 24 hours. If any of my professors knew how to use computers I would be worried about them finding out my tactics.

No matter what, I'll be done with school until October within 72hrs. And I will celebrate. Not quietly. Like this guy:

Sunny days

2010-03-11T16:48:00.000-08:00

UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling Presented by Maxxis - Team in Action from UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling on Vimeo.

Low IQ

2010-03-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

So I found out today that I'm dumber than I thought. Not necessarily all around, just bike racing, but unfortunately that's my current unit of measurement. This is the disappointing tale of not winning with 3 in a break of 13.

120mi road race. Covered moves really well the first lap, probably everyone on the team spent some time up the road. Half way through the second lap Roman and I get in a move then Johnny bridges across shortly thereafter. Good odds. Paul Mach and Ben JM from Bissel, Matty Rice, Routley, three Yahoos (hey, that's what they call themselves), some others I didn't know. We roll all day not super fast but keep the gap between one and two minutes.

(photo cyclingnews.com)

(photo cyclingnews.com)

Last lap, 4hrs in, no one feels great but Johnny says he's effed. Right then attacks start going, I'm marking BJM and we're thinking I have the best shot at the downhill sprint. Roman covers a move by Matty Rice and people start launching across. I hesitate still on BJM's wheel thinking he'll go, but he doesn't... then I hesitate again and the gap opens up and that's it. Johnny and I chase and pull the 25sec gap down to about 10, connect with the team cars on a short roller, and BJM jumps us and then it's over again. I chase solo for the last 10km and get caught by the field with 200m to go. Shit.

Roman was the top rider in 5th, Bav did well in the field sprint but I don't know the results. No one's happy, and for good reason, we did plenty of stuff right today but then made bad decisions at the most critical moments. Had a good team meeting and hashed it all out and cried and hugged and I know everyone walked out of there with a good fire in the belly to never make the same mistakes again.

(photo podiuminsight.com)

(photo cyclingnews.com)

I always thought before that the key to doing better was to just get stronger. Now I realize that I've just been riding like an idiot for the last few years. Admittedly, things are different when you have a full team and everyone's going to be there at the end and other people are racing against you; but I'm seeing some bad habits that I've gotten away with in the past that just aren't going to fly anymore.

Disappointing day, also because I know that these opportunities don't come often and it's tough to tell your teammates to trust you in the future when you're 0 for 1 in this sort of situation. I know for a fact that I'll never again make the same mistakes, but of course, you never know what you don't know. It's also tough since I need to go home early for finals and won't have another crack until Dana Point in April. There were definitely good things from today and I'm going home with lots of great information on what to work on--both physically and tactically--but for now it's feels productive to wallow in the defeat, let it sink in and get under the skin a bit; because even though we're definitely going to lose races again this year, I promise that it will never again be this way.

Merced Crit

2010-03-06T17:10:00.001-08:00

Just finished racing... we got on the front at 12 to go (~10mi out) and led out Barlevav. It turns out it's a lot easier to be part of the leadout then 30 guys down the back wondering who's up there swinging D. There was a break up the road at about 25sec, we brought it down to about 5sec on the last lap, but Matty Rice attacked out of it and won. We executed well but needed one more lap to bring it all back. We did catch the bulk of the break on the last turn, but first was already gone. Eric got caught behind the remnants of the break in the sprint and went straight into the back of them, ended up fourth. Bahati Foundation went 1-2-3, so that stings. Team meeting then rubs in a few minutes, but the reader's digest version is we were a little off on the timing and needed a touch more speed. But everyone stayed up, the bikes and new race wheels/tires were great, and today poked the bear enough that we'll all go into tomorrow looking to swing the big stick.

Revelation!

2010-03-04T18:18:00.000-08:00

I can't stop thinking about that stupid time trial last weekend, but I've decided it's like this: you just got a new bike, then do something dumb and get your first scratch. You knew the time would come but it still stings and you feel like an idiot; but you feel like an idiot in the way that will make you be more careful in the future, not the way that makes you sit on the curb and sulk and go home early. And it ignites just enough rage in you that know you'll need ride the hell out of that bike to make up for it; and you know you've got nothing to lose now that your record's no longer perfect.

Now let's never talk about it again. And Merced: you've been warned.

Racing is happening again

2010-03-02T15:35:00.000-08:00

This confirms that I've made it through the off season without going totally out of my mind. Actually, writing a blog might not be the best way to prove that, but let's ignore that for now...

First race last weekend. Let's just say that I won't continue last year's streak of winning one+ race per month all season long. I know what I did wrong so I'm not worried, but this is the first time since 2005 I haven't won the first TT of the year. In some ways a "bad" start to a big year, but so far it's been "better" for me by jolting my attention back to what needs to get done. March mantra: no bullshit.

More importantly, this coming weekend is my first team race down in beautiful Merced. Winter continues to blow the mind here in Seattle and it looks like for the first time ever I will leave sunny spring races in Washington to race in the rain in California. But apparently weather makes this race epic since the course is totally exposed, and 120mi of cross winds sounds pretty fun, especially on a team with nine of the strongest guys in the race.

After camp I was planning some big follow up story but somehow my mind was just a blank. I think that and my anemic first race are pretty indicative of my state of mind: calm before the storm. This weekend will be the first chance to experience life on the new team and new roles in new races; but then I come home to two weeks of finals, a move, and almost a month until my season really gets into swing.

March is going to be a big transition month--I enter it still more a student than pro cyclist, and still in training mode. That's why there's no room for bullshit--I need to pack away my life from the last six months, get the work done on and off the bike, and come April I'll be ready to revive that streak from 2009.

1). Camp is over, 2). First podium!, 3). Win races

2010-02-15T06:35:00.001-08:00

Camp's done and I'm waiting for my flight home. The last few days included lots of non-training stuff like sponsor meetings, photo shoots, and over-eating. Cruelly, the weather got really nice in Phoenix even though we weren't riding enough to really enjoy it. Here's a recap of the last half of camp.

Go Carting:
Nothing promotes team-building quite like competing with one another. To level the playing field we traded in our Kuotas for some 8hp go carts and went for it. It was actually surprising to see how much personality comes through when driving; basically, we all seemed to drive like we race. We whittled ourselves down from 23 to a final heat of 9, and I got my first podium of the season! Eric Barlevav took top honors because he's small, and Rory Southerland was second because he had the fast cart. That's my story.

Race Simulations
The last few days in Tucson were filled with a few short race simulations to prepare for the upcoming CA races. We did quite a few leadouts, then topped everything off with a race up Mt. Lemmon. Most everything went smoothly and it was great to have the chance to screw up in training and talk about it before trying the same with another hundred guys behind us. Looking through my race calendar for the year, it looks like I'll have the chance to try quite a few new roles in the races, and having previewed them at camp I'm psyched to have at it when the fitness is higher and there's actually something to race for.

Chalk Talk
Camp finished with three days in Scottsdale going over the nitty gritty of the season. It was great to get a chance to meet with all our sponsors and get to hear about their products and how they support the team. Everyone involved with the team is EXTREMELY excited and it's clear we've assembled an incredible program. Racing starts in two weeks, so it won't be long until we're able to prove it!

Behind the scenes, continued

2010-02-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

Here are the second two videos from Rory Southerland showcasing some of the team digs.

What I learned at camp

2010-02-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

We are going to CRUSH it this year. Period.

Training camp training

2010-02-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

The last few days of camp have been pretty similar, and we started to get in some higher quality rides. Winter hit Tucson on our Sunday ride, and cut short was going to be 6hrs. The weather wasn't TOO too bad, 40s and rain, but since none of us really have winter riding clothes or (obviously) fenders it's pretty much impossible to stay warm. We rode up to around 5000ft then turned around and did some rotations into town to warm up. Not much different than training in Seattle, but this was actually one of my colder days on the bike this winter. Thankfully the sun came out for the last ten minutes of the ride so at least we could warm a bit before hopping off the bikes. It was too much of a PIA to carry my camera, so all the pictures are taken from the UnitedHealthcare p/b Maxxis facebook page, which is VERY much worth be-fanning.

Yesterday was our best ride yet. We did an out and back up Kitt Peak with some race drills on the way out and then up the mountain. To make the long, flat road pass by more quickly we split into two groups to practice lead-outs for the upcoming March races in CA. Everything felt pretty smooth and we were able to keep the rotation around 50kmh for the 10km efforts. I'm happy with my position in the rotation and will get the chance to do some big turns late race--something I've not yet had the opportunity to do but I think I can crush.

We got to the base of the 12mi climb with noodly legs from those efforts, and went straight into four climbing drills. Basically we did the same sort of ramp-up as the lead outs, just shorter and less organized. We started out riding together then things digressed into a cockfight by about the third effort. After attacking all the snap out we regrouped to finish riding comfortably to the top. We got up just about 6000ft, less than a mile from the summit, when ice and snow on the roads turned us back. The ride ended up at 5.5hrs and 170km, and was the best route we've done yet.

Last night we had our first team presentation at nearby sponsor Tri Sports. Mostly it was a Q&A for the team, but it was also a chance for the mayor of Tucson to declare the city "Winter Training Capital" of... the universe? Not sure. But it was our first dress-rehearsal for the formal team presentation this weekend, and went really well since the audience came with plenty of good questions.

It was also Rory Southerland's birthday, which we celebrated at the banquet and Rory celebrated by putting together a behind-the-scenes youtube clip of the mechanics and equipment in action.

Today was a rest day for us, and our first sponsor ride. We went out for a couple of hours through the Saguaro National Park with some VIPs from Tri Sports, maybe about 50 people in total. It was a gorgeous day (yet again) and a nice chance to spin the legs and talk about some things other than bikes (some of the time anyway). It's also a chance to catch up things--TT bike setups, laundry, and sleep. I think we have two more days of "training" camp before we move locations and get down to the nitty gritty sponsor stuff.

Without much to compare to, I think everything has been great and the group is doing well together. There is enough of a core of returning riders to give the team some feeling of structure, but there are also enough new guys that no one gets left out. I also really appreciate all the strongest philosophies of the team, all of them mantras that I came here with. Among them, 1). go to every race planning to win, 2). pay attention to details and do your homework, 3). always play fair, do the "right" thing, and be a good ambassador to the sport. I feel like 90% of the time these MOs alone will guarantee success; and the remaining 10%... well, there's to life than just racing bikes.

Tucson!

2010-02-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

Everything is great. So far the only hiccup was a long flight delay in Phoenix. We sat on the tarmac for a long time, then finally started to take off only to have the pilot slam on the brakes halfway down the runway and return to the gate. Another hour on the tarmac and we finally got into Tucson too late to ride, but still better off than some of the guys coming from the East coast, where weather kept some in transit well into the night. Below is some last-minute bike assembly for the late-comers, and some of the bikes.

We're staying in a hotel shared with the world's largest gem convention, so things are actually really busy. We have 15 riders and it looks like we were all paired new guy-old guy; I'm with Chris Baldwin. Everyone is super friendly, with just the appropriate (and expected) amount of grab-ass.

Today's ride went on the Shoot-Out route up Madera Canyon. It was pretty mellow, lots of chatting and rolling. We cut things shorter than expected to fit in time for fiddling with bikes and a core/stretching program in the morning. We ended up riding about 90mi and 4.5hrs. DS Gord Fraser is looking fit and jumped into the ride today to even out the numbers. Here are some pictures.

The bikes and the weather are gorgeous, and with the combination I could happily ride all day. I took some pictures of my bike while it's clean and new.

There are lots of other small details that have all added up to a really impressive, professional first impression. I think what I like most is that everyone is surprisingly relaxed and just like every other bike racer, but at the same time able to pull it all together at the right times to get it done. Basically, no one is THAT guy.

We are going to win some races this year.

It's going to happen!

2010-02-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

Are you joking me, how hot is this RV? Man, this team is NOT messing around. I'm sure glad I destroyed myself training this winter, I would not want to be THAT guy in this kind of company. The best part is the caption to the RV photo; I don't even understand what it means but it sounds like we'll be having dance parties before and after races: "Rockford Fosgate has given us info about the rockin' exterior A/V system they're installing on our team RV: pro quality monitors, six subwoofers, LCD display and an Apple TV unit."

I leave for CAMP on Friday. Very very excited. I had a moment of shock reading through the riding on tap, so just to settle my nerves I finished my last training block with a replica training camp week just so I could go into it knowing I can ride that schedule. It went really really well, I did my first week well over 30hrs including three days of LT work, and actually felt stronger every day. I'd say the foundation is set, I feel like I could ride 4000kJ every day and be fine.

All the fresh digs came in as well. The kits look a lot different than in pictures, I think I've decided to call the color "cranberry" but there's also a lot of sky blue. The new bike is the nicest I've ever had. It's actually difficult to figure out how the frame feels because I've never ridden carbon wheels for training before... I think a tricycle would feel like a rocket with these things. I'll put up some equipment pictures from camp. In the meantime, here's a pic of DS Gord Fraser coming out of retirement and rocking the new kit. The team bikes have a different paint scheme, but you get the idea.

I'll get into some more specifics about all the goodies in time. Partly as a sponsor plug, but also because this stuff is genuinely really nice. 95% of it is what I would have bought myself if I had 1). the option, and 2). the money to do so. Next update will be post massage, post sunshine! It's been TOO long.

Only the French

2010-01-25T17:03:00.000-08:00

Maybe if Mavic hadn't just reincarnated the wagon wheel this would seem more whimsical. Looks like the team switched to EDGE just in time...

Any I'm not much of a car guy, but how hot are these team cars! VERY hot I hear you say. Very hot.

Band camp!

2010-01-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

Just got some news for the upcoming training camp. To be clear, it turns out this is NOT the photo-shoot type training camp. No. 2010 marks the year that UHC-Maxxis puts the "training" back in "training camp" with about 30hrs of riding in the first six days, plus a field test or two. Thankfully there will be a few of the new team Jettas (rendered above) following to help pick up the pieces. Here's a rough outline:

Day 0: fly in, 2hr bike-adjustment ride

Day 1: 5.5hrs w/ 12mi climb

Day 2: 6hrs w/ 12mi climb

Day 3: 5hrs w/ 24mi climb

Day 4: 3hrs easy

Day 5: 4hrs w/ field testing + filming

Day 6: 6hrs w/ echelons + 12mi climb

Day 7: 2hrs easy, photoshoot ride

Day 8: 2hrs easy, more photos, team presentation

Day 9: 2hrs easy, more photos

Day 10: fly home

It's going to be great getting that much time on the bike, especially in warm/sunny weather. I'm also especially excited to NOT be on an Italian team, where you have to do things like this at camp. $5 worth of Muscle Milk bars to the best caption for each. Ready.... go! (photos courtesy of cyclingnews.com)

Bizarre factor: 4

Bizarre factor: 7

Bizarre factor: 8-9

Bizarre factor: 11

Finally, if you want to join us at camp yourself, but don't fancy all the training, this could be your ticket.

It would kill you if you could be killed

2010-01-12T16:19:00.001-08:00

Three weeks until training camp, which means it's time to defibrillate the blog. I'll try to put in a few more updates before racing starts, and once the season gets cranking I'll go back to regular posts. I'm also a big fan of quotes/mantras, so expect some doozies. Right now my mantra is the title of this post, which happened to be the only thing I wrote down during my first week back at school. This one came from my environmental law professor describing the commitment necessary for small-time attorneys to take on corporate interests. I thought it transfered well across the board though, and has a nice link to my #1 training philosophy: make yourself harder to kill.

Without further ado, here's a massive look back at this Fall.

Training:

Needless to say I spent lots of time on the bike. In five years of training for cycling I've never done a "base" period (because of track or broken bones), so this year I decided to give it a whirl. After two weeks off the bike following my last race, I kicked it back into action. For the three months that followed I missed one day of biking, and on that day I went for a run. Probably my most impressive streak to date. My routine was something like this:

M: morning run, afternoon easy spin

T: morning and afternoon intervals

W: morning and afternoon intervals

Th: morning rollers, afternoon long ride

F: morning run, afternoon easy spin

S: long steady

S: long with intervals

All my intervals were mid-high Z3, and all overgeared (40-60rpm). Hours were generally around 25 per week, the biggest week was just under 30hrs and 28,000kJ. My mantra during that time was "you can always, always do more." 95% of the time it turned out to be true. How knew?

School:

Still going. I can finally make my own schedule, so I got all morning classes and am out by 12:30 every day. It's still really tight trying to get in all the volume since it's dark at 4:30; most days begin and end with riding in the dark. I'm now into the second week of the new quarter, and will go until the third week of March when I pull the plug and go into race/train mode full-time. Spring quarter will not be missed.

Work:

Tuesday and Wednesday mornings are tight. I have to wake up an hour before my early morning indoor class to make food for the day, since I have exactly 15min when I get home to eat, shower, change, and head back out the door to class. Nonetheless, having 20-30 other people waiting for you to motivate them to ride hard at 6am never fails to kick me into action. This remains one of my best secret training grounds.

The "pro" card:

It's funny that over the course of a few weeks I can go from being a bum who rides his bike too much to being some sort of authority on the sport. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that. I mean, sure I think that what I do works, and I'm happy to share those experiences with others. But they're the same things I was doing when I was getting dropped as a cat 3, and no one seemed to care back then...

Secrets:

I have some other aces up my sleeve right now. First is working with Dr. Steven Noble, trying to keep healthy and sturdy all season long. He's just getting a practice going in Bellingham and is helping out a few of us in the area . More on this as the season gets underway, but I'm pretty psyched to have a personal sports scientist looking after me.

Skate skiing also turns out to be second best thing in the world behind bike racing. Who knew? Since I don't know my race schedule and wanted something to think about during the last minutes of those intervals, I decided to do a 50k skate ski race in March. To get ready for it I've been doing things like 1). learning how to skate ski. I'll let you know what follows #1 after I cross it off the list.

I have a few more training secrets, but, well, they're just that for now...

On the horizon:

More and more on my mind is the upcoming 10-day training camp in Tucson. I'm not sure what all we'll be doing, but I know there will be sun, hot new bikes, hot new kits, and a team RV. The first paycheck is also just a few days away; that's something I've been working towards for a very long time, and is definitely worth more than the numbers written on it.

SUN is also very near! I can feel it. Especially when listening to this song. Watch/listen and just TRY not to feel the warm sun on your face. Impossible.

A philosophical interlude

2009-10-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

So the big news here is that I mailed off my contract for next year and will join OUCH-Maxxis in 2010. The team is going through some changes for next season which aren't up to me to disclose, but suffice it to say that I'm PSYCHED to be part of a program with such a legacy. Since I've raced this has been the team to beat in the US, and if they weren't winning the race they definitely made it tough for whomever did, and put lots of other guys in the hurt box in the process (myself included, generally). I look forward to being that guy next year, and apologize in advance to the guy in the gutter 100 wheels back looking to the head of the race, cursing my name; I was once in your place, brother, but stick with it and times will change.

Every once in a while I get really intense waves of excitement and can't believe that years and years of work actually paid off and I landed my dream job. I mean, I'd like to say that I always knew I would get here, but at the end of the day, I still can't help but feel like I pulled off some really big coup and that someone, sometime, somewhere will "find out" and take it away. I get super antsy to just START next season so I can prove that I deserve my spot, perhaps as much to myself as to the rest of the world--or at least those paying attention to such things. Because really, I'd like to think of this as just the beginning...

Those times are juxtaposed with a feeling of overwhelming humility--bordering on insecurity--because of the guys I'll have the pleasure of riding with, and the expectations placed on me as a result. A third of the guys on the team have spent significant time in the Pro Tour, many are Olympians, and nearly everyone on the team has won at least one national championship (at least I'm in that category too).

Going through the process of simply getting on this team showed me what big gaps exist in my knowledge of how this sport works; and the longer I race the more I see the necessity of constantly acknowledging one's shortcomings and remaining humble. As soon as you get comfortable with what you [think you] know, you stagnate--forever condemned to the level you reached before you stopped caring to learn from 1). your mistakes, and 2). your peers.

Einstein described insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yet that seems to be a quintessentially human impulse: how many of us (especially athletes) have lofty goals and expectations for ourselves, yet refuse to think outside the box and break free from the routines we've collected over the years? It's with this thought in mind that I again bring up the most influential cartoon of my life:

These are the thoughts swelling around in my head as I prepare to embark on the next big adventure of my Big Adventure. Part of me wants to qualify all this and point out "it's just a Continental team," or "it's not the most lucrative job," or "it's just bike racing." But you know what, fuck that, it might not be the biggest deal in the world but it's MY big deal, and really there are very few things in life that are so intrinsically lofty that they transcend the bubbles we create for ourselves.

So for now I'll enjoy this interlude and appreciate achieving what few people in the world can say they have: giving themselves and their dreams enough credit to put in the leg work, follow through, and accomplish what at the beginning seemed impossibly far away. We are called in life to hold each other accountable to our abilities and constantly strive for self improvement. Several people have told me it was "inspirational" to watch the progress I've made this year and see what was possible with focus and hard work; I find that hugely motivating, and hope those people realize I'm not special and didn't do anything special and ANYONE can make their IT if they choose to commit. And for those who will undoubtedly try to detract from what I do: I hope you eventually learn your mental energy is more productively devoted to self-betterment, and that lowering those around you doesn't actually raise yourself any higher.

And so I begin my "training" for 2010 next Monday, thankful for the opportunities available to me, and grateful to be paid for what I would happily do regardless. My big goals for the coming year are to: remain humble and insecure enough that I don't become comfortable with what I've accomplished; treat each race as an opportunity to THROW DOWN and learn more how to ply this trade; and pause frequently to remind myself that this is all REALLY great and fun, because as my dad says, "the perfect life is one made up of perfect moments."

Democracy in action

2009-10-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Good things are happening. First, I'm pleased to announce I have a freedom loving blog and because the people spoke I've decided to: join the hottest team (more next week), and continue into the winter with my sugar-free diet. That doesn't start for another week though, and to assuage burning interest, the sucrose fast was broken in a Vegas casino in the wee hours of the morning with a delicious belgian waffle.

I also found the TV coverage from TX Tough. It always surprises me how little bike racing they actually show and how difficult it is to follow what's going on in the race--maybe that's why no one is interested? Judge for yourself.

Season review + resume

2009-09-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a short recap of the season purely by the numbers. It's interesting on my end to see the numbers relative to my memory of those months and what I was doing for training. The trend I see is I do better with a bigger workload of racing and training. And in spite of a run of near-misses nationally, I still ended up with more in the "W" column than any other spot in the top-5.

February: 1 race, 1 win (TT)

March: 8 races, 3 wins (RR, TT, Crit), 1 2nd (TT), 1 3rd (TT), 1 4th (crit)

April: 17 races, 4 wins (RR, TT, 2 Crits), 3 2nd (GC, TT, Crit), 3 3rd (RR, TT, Crit)

May: 10 races, 2 wins (TT, Crit), 1 2nd (TT), 1 4th (Omnium)

June: 11 races, 5 wins (2 TTs, 3 GC), 2 2nd (RR, TT), 1 3rd (RR), 1 5th (Crit)

July: 12 races, 1 win (TT), 1 2nd (TT)

August: 9 races, 5 wins (RR, 2 Crits, TT, Omnium), 1 2nd (Crit), 2 3rd (RR, Crit), 1 4th (RR)

September: 10 Races, 1 win (Crit), 2 2nd (Crit, Sprint), 3 3rd (RR, TT, KOM), 2 4th (Crit, Omnium)

TOTAL: 78 race days, 22 wins, 11 2nd, 10 3rd, 5 4th, 1 5th

It's over!

2009-09-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a few thrilling days in Vegas for Interbike and the USA Crits finale. This is starting to get repetitive, but things went pretty well. The race was 60 laps of a ~1km parking lot circuit with oil-slicked pavement, some off-camber turns, and marginally-lit, wire barriers. Good times. The race has enough of a reputation of being a crash-fest that most of the racers at Interbike for sponsor reasons opted not to race.

Our race started amidst a little chaos. Lang and I rode to the race along The Strip and turned off a little too soon. I made the mistake of wandering into the Mandalay Bay hotel/casino to ask for directions then continued to wander around through their restaurants and casinos, fully kitted up and wheeling my bike, for about 10min trying to find my way out. Not pro. Then Joe got stuck in traffic on the way to the race and arrived with race wheels and a replacement buckle for Lang's shoe about 1min before call-ups began.

I got a call-up and had a good start but then pretty quickly dropped about 30 places when I realized I had NO idea where the course was going and I couldn't see the barriers. There were a few guys who nearly ran head-long into the wire fencing through the first few turns, and it took me about 20min to get comfortable on the course. There was very little pedaling in the pack, maybe ten hard strokes at a time before setting up for another turn. The pavement was squirmy with all the oil drippings, and a few turns had little ripples that would toss the back end off the ground if you weren't pedaling smoothly.

Once I felt like I figured out some move-up spots I went to the front to swing the axe and go for primes and/or a break. That proved pretty fruitless. I had a much shorter leash at this race and couldn't just launch off the front willy-nilly without anyone caring. It was also tough to get away because the straights were so short you couldn't take a big charge and create an instant gap. I tried maybe five times nonetheless, but was starting to work myself unnecessarily and conceded to sit in a little longer.

With around 20 laps to go I countered a string of attacks with a clean, hard attack. I was away by myself for maybe four laps and won a $100 prime in the process. Then one rider bridged up, then another, and another... pretty soon we had a break of six guys with about 30" on the field. I felt pretty destroyed and was trying to simultaneously drive the break and feather my effort to keep from blowing up.

With three laps to go it was clear we would stay away, and Dan Bowman (Kelly) started attacking. I went with his first move and the two of us were away with a decent gap. I thought that was the race actually, as he and I seemed to be taking the hardest pulls and definitely put all the chips in on that move. But coming into the bell lap the group came back together, and was briefly countered by a La Grange rider. He dangled until the final positioning began, and with 500m to go it was Bowman on the front, Eric Barlevev (Mtn. Khakis), then me. I wasn't feeling too snappy, and rather than go for a long sprint, I was planning to sprint through the final turn and try to pop around on the home stretch.

Bowman opened up the sprint at about 300m and took a late-apex line into the final sweeping turn to protect the inside line from getting chopped. Unfortunately it was a little too fast and a little too late-apex and he lost it half way through the turn. Barlevev set up for the turn better than I did and was already on an inside-line; he made it around Bowman without changing his line and immediately opened up the sprint. Since I was already drifting wide I had to pop the bike up, grab some brakes, then turn-in again to avoid Bowman+bike (video here). By the time I got back on the gas Barlevev already had two bike-lengths on me and it was over. I rode it in for second, but the race was over in the final turn.

Again, a close finish, again, a podium, and again, not the top step. I'll save the could've/would've and just say that I'm happy to keep the momentum going through the final race of the year and have another good ride in front of the right people. Another $900 to the prize pot is also a nice consolation prize. This was the last race of the year for me and it's nice to pull off a result with sponsors and future team directors watching. Following the race I had no fewer than three directors approach me about next season, so that's a good sign.

Lang recovered his nerves from the last few weeks and had a solid mid-pack finish. I'm pretty psyched for that because it was a very sketchy race and no one made it through who wasn't working hard and taking the corners hot. We also had some solid finishes in the USA Crits overall. HB finished 16th in the team competition out of a whopping 147 teams. I finished up 7th in the individual classification, and tied for 3rd in the lap-leading competition (with 22 laps). I think we can be happy with those numbers, especially considering we contested only half the events and had just 2-4 guys at a time.

It hasn't quite set in yet that the season is over, and I'm as motivated for racing and training now as I was back in February. As I looked out the plane window on the approach to Seattle I had a wave of nostalgia wash over as it set in that the season is actually done and I pulled off one hell of a year. I've had an incredible amount of support from so many people this season--from sponsors, teammates, and team management who took care of the bike racing logistics, all the way to family, friends, and classmates who took care of me at home and at school. To all those people I want to say a huge THANK YOU, I credit my success WHOLLY to your help.

Stay tuned for news about next year, I should know within the next week or two where I'll be heading in 2010. Here's to a few more of these pictures next season, though maybe a few more on the top step.

Take the money and run

2009-09-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

Jonny and I did a local crit today that's part of a regional, weekend omnium. Sort of the Mutual of Enumclaw of Dallas. We skipped the road race and TT yesterday because the RR started at 7am and we don't have any TT gear. We made up for that in the crit, however. I attacked about 10min into the 90min race and stayed away solo for the win. I also realized I won my first race this season eight months ago today, and have won at least one race every month since (September was a close call). Today is #19 of the year; pretty incredible season.

Today was a tough slog though. The course was nearly 1.5mi long, fairly windy, and had a small rise on the backstretch. My maximum gap was around a minute, but most of the race I hovered in the 30sec range. I actually felt pretty flat all day after our brisk 4hr ride yesterday, and two weeks of racing in the rain did me no favors in today's ~90 degree weather. But robot-mode has done me well this season and I did my best to turn off the brain and stop making excuses to sit up.

For my efforts I can add another two hundo to the coffers for this trip. And that's great. But let me rant: who started this nonsense of only giving pack primes? I think this is the third crit this year when they immediately started priming the pack when I was up the road. There were 6 primes in the race. The first was one lap before I broke away. I led the rest of the race but won just one, $25 prime. The rest went to the pack, including one worth $150. What the hell? Am I just out here for giggles? MAYBE, if a break is away and the pack has sat up, throw them a bone with one or two pack primes. But if it's one guy off the front, the end result is far from a sure thing, and it would suck to spend most of the race out front, miss all the primes, then not even place.

I think the answer in this case is that maybe the Texas bike racing community doesn't fancy the idea of more of their dollars coming home in my luggage. At least five guys after the race made some remark about how maybe it's time to head back to Seattle; I'm sure their comments were all in good spirits but judging by the repetitiveness of this sentiment I can only imagine it echoes some real feelings.

This trip has been by far my most lucrative. And the responses I've received from others illustrates what I think is a problem with cycling in this country: most people still think of prize money as just that--a prize. It's a bonus, a feather you put in your cap to justify to your wife/girlfriend/teammates why you spend so much time and money on bikes. But in reality, for guys like myself and hundreds of others in the country, prize money is one of the biggest motivators going into races, and to a large extent is what makes the sport function at all.

Clearly, there are only a handful of guys in the US who can justifiably be cyclists because of the money. You have to do it for the love. BUT, there are shockingly few racers in the US who actually earn a living wage from a salary. Most of us support ourselves by living modestly, hocking old equipment at the end of the year, working odd jobs, and coming home from the races with a few hundred dollars more than when you left.

That's why a significant aspect of season planning includes a cost-benefit analysis of each race: how much it costs to get there, how much it costs to enter, how much/deep the payout is, and how likely we are to bring home some of the pot. This is the first year I started boycotting races that don't pay out. I totally understand the plight of the race promoter; but if you have 50-100 riders in every field and charge $20-$30 to race, riders need to at least break even if they get on the podium.

Cycling in the US has become a consumer sport, where race promoters provide the service of *a race* to the consuming athletes, generally for a profit. And that's fine. I realize we don't have the sponsorship backing that exists in Europe, where racers can get start money in addition to prize money. But again, you can't be in cycling in the US for the money, and that extends to promoters as well. Like it or not, the Pro/1 men and women are the ones driving the sport, and their livelihood depends on race payout. Coming home from a race with one tire and a pair of size S socks isn't going to pay rent and put food in my stomach.

What I think needs to happen is, at some level, we need to cut the whole "everyone's a winner" BS and actually incentivize performance. This is a competitive sport, right? I mean, we race, and there are categories, and there's a winner. It's all right there. So why muck around and try to send everyone home with a pat on the head and a "good job?" Paying out decent money to the Pro/1 field doesn't mean we are better people. It doesn't mean we are any more popular, or more successful, or happier. What it DOES mean is that we've spent a lot of effing time and money and energy trying to get good and this one thing--riding a bike really fast. And that's the idea, right? I mean, it's a bike race, right?

Promoters need to realize there is a very significant utility to prize money. The $30 a Masters D racer takes home from the weekend race at most will cover the bottle of wine he shares with his wife that evening. To the 20-something Cat 1, the difference between nominal prize money and something actually worth racing for is whether or not you're able to chase the dream of calling yourself a professional. That's not based on whether you're on a "pro" team or not, since most still don't earn enough money to cover the most basic living expenses. It means things like being able to pay for health insurance, or maybe one day a mortgage, or a family.

So the next time I'm flogging myself at the front of a crit, I hope the promoter remembers that IT IS IN FACT a race, and the point is to reward the guys who treat it as such. And it just might be that "we're not all snowflakes" (thanks MT), and that I do actually work really effing hard to try to make a living doing this--maybe, just maybe, harder than the guy sitting in the pack who just won the pack prime and is going to blow it on a Dr. Pepper and bag of chips on his drive home.

I'm not a jerk for trying to win money. If you want to cripple professional development in the sport, then follow the triathlon model: stop offering prize money, charge exorbitant entry fees, and hand out a t-shirt and a medal to everyone who finishes. And see how many people still try to "go pro." But when that happens, just don't lament how doping is the scourge that killed the sport and squashed young men's dreams, when the cause was simply your unwillingness to reward their hard work in a functionally meaningful way.

Mission [mostly] accomplished

2009-09-17T20:07:00.001-07:00

Things went pretty well here in Dallas. The weather was touch and go since we arrived Monday, with daily rain flooding streets and putting a damper on riding. But Lang and I both were pretty shattered after the Univest weekend so we were happy to have an excuse to rest and do shorter rides.

By race day the legs started to come around, as did the weather. We lined up for the ~75min race under cloudy skies but still with standing water in spots around the course. Three of the four straights were huge, 4-lane roads with plenty of space to jockey, but the course funneled into a one-lane road between the last two turns and opened back up onto the downhill home-straight through a very tight, acute bend.

I had a not great start position and took my time moving up. Once I got there, around 10 laps in, I went for it and got a solid gap solo. From there on out, the race is pretty much a blur. But those first few laps were the only time in the race I was in the pack. With the wet roads and tight final turns I felt like it was easier just to slug it out off the front than muck around in the field. So I kept flowing and bridging into moves, sprinting for primes, and in general, swinging the big stick. In the process I won two $640 primes and missed a $1000 prime by about 1/4 of a wheel.

The race came down to a break of five with about 20sec on the field. I was feeling good and as long as I took turn four okay felt confident sprinting. I knew there would be a $2500 prime on one-to-go, and set up to sprint for that. I took that pretty comfortably--by a few bike lengths--but without enough of a gap to justify putting my head down and continuing.

On the back side all five of us spread across the huge boulevard to size one another up, with Adam Meyerson (Mtn. Khakis) the first to put in a dig. That's when I screwed up. I was closest to him so I went ahead and jumped on his wheel, and of course the other three followed. Going into the final two turns I hesitated since I just put in the dig, and Heath Blackgrove (Hotel San Jose) and John Murphy (OUCH) jumped on the inside. I got shut out from the fast line in turn four and wound up sprinting from the back. Our placings coming out of the final turn were the final placings of the race: Blackgrove, Murphy, Meyerson, myself, then Mike Creed (Type 1); I don't think Creed sprinted since he was sitting on the break waiting for his team to chase back for their two very good sprinters (not sure what happened there). Video from the last three laps can be found here.

Same old story: I'm obviously psyched to have won a whopping $5400, I think the most of anyone in the race. But again I messed up the finale even though I clearly figured out how I needed to ride the final turns to win the sprint. I can do better than last out of the break, I think it just comes down to relaxing a little more in the closing laps, being willing to lose, then making the right moves a little more quickly and confidently.

In any case, live and learn, and I still got lots of congratulations after the race for being so present at the front and driving all the moves. There were also a few directors at the race who I've been courting for next year, all of whom told me they were impressed with the ride. Again, good timing for a good ride, but also a good time to have not mucked up the finale.

So now I have almost a week to kill here in Dallas (any ideas?). Lang took off this morning and was a little bummed with his ride. He's a little skittish cornering in the wet after his two bad crashes last weekend and came off along with about 75% of the field. We're both ready for the big season finale next week in Vegas. It should be a barn burner: tight, 1km course, 9:30pm start, plenty of money, and a bunch of guys finishing out their seasons with nothing to lose. A good chance for redemption? I have 5 days to scheme...

State #3

2009-09-15T16:41:00.001-07:00

Lang and I are in Dallas hanging out with El Gato. It's steamy and every night is a Banda party on our block. Somehow we are totally wrecked, maybe from three days of hard racing in the rain? I want to go ballistic at TX Tough. A few hours of motorpacing tomorrow with the Kelly guys.

Univest wrap-up

2009-09-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Final stage of Univest today, a 50mi crit in downtown Doylestown. It was a pretty cool course, about 2km with all kinds of turns and a long uphill drag to the finish. All of us started despite injuries, of both the physical and emotional variety.

I had a good start and rode the first quarter of the race floating in the top-30. I had NOTHING in the tank though and pretty soon floated to the back to tail gun and save that little bit of energy required to hover in the front. It was a nice course for hanging out and you could coast more than half of it by taking the turns hot. Since the race was just shy of two hours I tried to relax and conserve as much as possible. I'm also glad I carried a lot of food with me. I could feel going in that I hadn't recovered too well from yesterday, and ended up eating over 800 calories and drank two big bottles. That's a lot for a crit.

Towards the end I felt my legs starting to come around and made a late charge to the front. I was just a little far back going into the final two turns, maybe 15th wheel or so, but I waited for the front-runners to peter out in the long, uphill sprint and made up some ground to finish in the top-10. I think my count at the line put me in 7th.

Sam, Lang, and Phil all swung the axe a few times, but ultimately just a little too hard and lost their grip towards the end. Daifuku had an epiphany tail gunning with Bobby Lea and was psyched out of his mind all race. Clayville took the full two hours to come around and had a pack finish, but then lit it up on our ride home.

That's the season for most of us. Lang and I fly to Dallas tomorrow to race Texas Tough. Everyone else will be shipping bikes back to Blue, enjoying the countless pies available here at our homestay, and getting ready for a little off-season hibernation.

Rolling the dice

2009-09-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

Went all-in today and threw the long bomb. Hard times. The race had an auspicious start when about half the field went down in the neutral start. We were delayed for about 10min on the road while guys pulled themselves back together; meanwhile, some poor Souderton resident had the pleasure of seeing a hundred cyclists pee on his lawn.

The racing started full-gas with the first sprint hot spot just 5mi into the stage. Sam and Phil were looking after me until both of them flatted over the course of a minute. Both later returned to the race without too much hassle. Meanwhile, Lang and Daifuku were swinging the big sticks off the front of the pack trying to get into moves.

Going through the third hot spot a group of four rolled up the road with what I thought were two Amore e Vita riders. They had a good gap and I thought that might be the race since either of those guys would win the overall if they stayed away. Traditionally this race has been won from an early break or field split, and with the bad weather I thought this year would be the same. I attacked through a turn and bridged up to that group on a descent leading into a very sketchy set of turns and the first climb of the day. When I caught the group of four I lifted the pace on the climb to drag some guys out, but unfortunately the only guy to come with me was a janky Bruyneel Academy rider who wouldn't work. Classy. I half-heartedly dragged him around for a few miles hoping someone else would bridge up, then threw in the towel once the field made its way back up.

Immediately a Tecos rider countered with another Bruyneel rider and that stuck. A few guys started to trickle across and I worked my way into that flow. When that group sat up I hit it again and bridged up in a few minutes on another technical descent. I knew it was all-in at that point since the very gnarly Eichele road climb was nearing. By the time we hit the climb we had a 1:30 gap. Tecos attacked for the KOM and the other two of us dragged our carcasses over and regrouped at the top.

That's pretty much the way it was all day, Tecos taking the KOMs then the three of us rotating between. Mike Olheiser bridged about halfway through the stage and that made things better, he took some long pulls but didn't look like he was feeling stellar. Joe also did a great job in the caravan, figuring out a short-cut to get up to the break to give me some coke and food. Lifesaver. I imagine there are some finger prints squeezed into the doors of that Kia rental from his hapless passengers.

Our gap hovered between 1:20 and 1:50 all the way onto the circuits. It was pretty sweet leading the break onto the circuits, riding through the screaming crowd, and seeing yourself on a giant TV screen. It was short-lived though. Tecos attacked on the first KOM of the first lap and hovered in front of the three of us for a while. We kept rotating while the field slowly brought us back. Once the gap came under one minute I decided to try to get across to Tecos. I attacked on the KOM and we dropped Olheiser then kept working for another gap. We brought Tecos back to about 5 seconds right as the field caught all of us and a counter went up the road. That was with 6 of 11 laps to go.

From there on I went between hanging on for dear life and feeling like I was still strong enough to win. I got into two more small breaks on the circuits but immediately felt gassed then almost got dropped. I chilled out the final two laps to sprint from the group I was in, but couldn't pull many more tricks out of my hat by then.

I finished 25th on the stage, 23rd overall, and 3rd in the KOM competition. I tried to talk my way into the most aggressive rider competition since I was leader on the road the whole day and kept attacking on the circuits, but then I found out the Tecos guy stuck it out in the front group for the rest of the circuits so he definitely earned it.

I'm reasonably happy with my ride, this was one of the few races where you can legitimately get "TV time" and I was psyched to still feel strong enough after the long bomb to stay in the pack and still be a part of the race. This year also saw the biggest group in the history of the race make it onto the circuits, and in years past the move I was in was the kind that lasted to the finish. However, going by how I felt today and how the race played out, I'm confident I could have been there in the finish with enough juice in the tank to make into one of those front groups that would have resulted in a "result." Always what-ifs when you don't win.

It was still an awesome race regardless, very epic course and weather, and I'm always happy to hang it out there and actually race my bike. There were lots of guys content to sit in and let Amore e Vita ride on the front, and in some ways changing Univest to a stage race really killed today's stage. Traditionally it's a balls-out, aggressive, charging style of racing but the way it played out ended up being pretty formulaic and boring. The teams who sat back, watched Amore e Vita control then win the race, brought it on themselves and raced like nancies. I didn't finish high up, but at least I put myself in a position where I could have won, and put pressure on another team to burn some matches. Until teams start doing that more, the "euro-style" class Univest is trying to become is just going to be another race-by-numbers stage race.

The day took its tole on the rest of the guys. Lang was taken out pretty hard in a crash and pulled out with a busted up hip and helmet. Phil and Nick had bad legs and never really felt it. Sam and Daifuku made it onto the circuits but fell victim to the climb and the gaps it opened up. All of us had a great time in the race though, and in the future I think this is a kind of event any one of us could do well at.

Tomorrow we have a long, 2hr/50mi criterium to close things out. It's not part of the stage race even though it's still part of Univest. Lang might sit it out because of his injuries, but the rest of us will be looking to throw some more bombs, put our heads down, and hope the dice turn up in our favor when the dust settles.

Updated!

2009-09-11T18:20:00.001-07:00

Turns out we placed 6th in the TTT, 39" behind the winners. Great for the morale going into tomorrow, where it's going to be SLUGFEST in the rain. If you're watching the live feed be sure to take note of Eichele hill (pronounced IKE-lee). It's the second KOM about 35mi into the stage, and on paper it's not much but we pre-rode the course and I promise fireworks. It has 2km of narrow, twisty highway grade leading into 600m of 28% (not a typo) grade. There's a turn at the top then it immediately goes down a fairly treacherous descent. Heads will roll.

Univest, day one

2009-09-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

We just got back from the wet, windy, technical TTT here in PA. Things went okay. We had a horrible warmup since all the streets were a mess downtown and it was tough to keep warm in the cold weather. We spent some time riding around a parking garage, but it was a wash since we had to report to the start line 15min early for a bike check. We took the first lap fairly easy and kept all six guys. I felt fine and didn't feel like the roads were slick, but our biggest problem was keeping the gaps from opening up going through the turns. A lot of times you get gapped off in 6th position just because it's tough to see the line and judge speed coming in.

The second lap we started to take longer, harder pulls to pick up the pace. That's when it started to come apart a little, and by halfway through the lap we were down to three guys (myself, Phil, and Sam). Lang had a bizarre, Menchov-like crash, then Nick and Chris were gapped through a turn. It was tough to decide whether to wait for the dangling two before the headwind stretch. I felt good and ended up pulling the second half of the last lap, but we might have gone faster rolling the bottom stretch with more guys. We lost some more time on the final climb and finishing straight.

We rolled in at 17:01 and had the fastest ride for long enough to get interviewed a few times. But it was clear it wouldn't stick since we didn't even go as fast as we thought we could, the roads were drying out, and the fastest teams were yet to come. I haven't heard final results yet but by our calculations we finished somewhere between 8th and 10th. Not bad, it would have been nice to be top amateur team, or at least have the dry roads the later teams rode.

The forecast for tomorrow is warmer but still a chance of rain. I'm feeling good and I think we're all pretty psyched for the race. This is the final race of the year for a lot of guys, so expect all of us to GO. Our homestay is also STELLAR, we've had all our meals wonderfully prepared and all of us have beds. The promoters have also done a great job publicizing the race and also taking care of riders. We're now off to a teams dinner at a local restaurant so we'll have a great chance to size up, and stare down, our competition.

More GMSR photos

2009-09-08T05:39:00.000-07:00

Some more pictures from the crit, courtesy of Bing Knight. We finally figured out how to get to Souderton, PA for the next racing stop. Sam and I will spend the night in NYC tonight, with a brief stop in Woodstock and the Catskills for a ride, then finish the drive tomorrow. We'll spend the next few days pre-riding the courses and try to do this one right.

Intermediate sprint

Solo in the last 5km

Pack coming up the uphill straight-away

Coming out of the final turn for an intermediate sprint

Self-explanatory...

Mutual consolation

Solo coming into turn 6

Turn 6 choppy pavement

First solo foray early in the race

Very, very, very close

2009-09-07T17:56:00.000-07:00

We just got back from the criterium finale of GMSR, and the way the race played out pretty well captures the whole weekend. The race was 50 laps on a 1km, 6-corner course in downtown Burlington. I came into the day 9th on GC and 6th in the sprint competition, and the goal was to move up a few spots in GC and/or the sprint competition, win money, and win the stage.

Early into the race I threw some chum into the water. I wasn't really hoping to go off alone but that's what happened. I was off for around ten laps but was brought back at the first time bonus sprint. I was feeling pretty snappy so I decided to go for the next hot spot sprint, which also carried $50 for first. The final turn was a fast, bumpy downhill into an uphill, tailwind sprint of about 150m. I attacked going into the turn and pretty easily won, sitting up about halfway to the line.

A few minutes later they rang the bell for a $600 crowd prime, another goal for the day. There was one guy solo off the front by about 100m, but the swarming pack brought him back to about 50m going into the sprint. I did the same move as before, attacking into the downhill turn, and again pretty easily held off the guys behind and just pipped the solo rider for the single biggest cash prize of the whole weekend (sorry buddy).

That was working so well I decided to go for the final hot spot sprint and see if I could snag the sprint jersey and another $50. The tricky part was the sprint was going to be at just 5 laps to go, and I didn't want to blow the finish. But since I was opening up such a gap with my little move I decided that if I could take the hot spot and had the same gap again I would just put my head down and go for the solo win.

Sure enough, the same script played out and after a moment of hesitation I went into pursuit mode for the final 5k effort. I almost immediately regretted it. Even though I quickly opened up a full straight-away gap, I was much stronger sprinting than I was pursuiting on the hilly, windy course. Going into two to go I dared to think I could hold it off. Unfortunately, I had just 20m going into the final corner, was totally shattered, obviously not going as fast as the pack, and was gobbled up in the sprint about 25m from the line.

I held on for 9th in the race, and moved up one spot on GC to finish 8th overall. I also jumped to 2nd in the sprint competition for my efforts. All in all not a bad day, but I'm a little bummed because I'm pretty sure I could have won that final sprint. At the same time, had I not attacked through that sprint with 5 to go, and THEN not won the race, I would be kicking myself significantly harder for not going for it.

So it didn't pay off, but I think it was the move to make, and the crowd and other racers knew and acknowledged it. I successfully cracked the field for about two laps and it took a 5-man lead out from some Swedish team (here for Univest) to bring it back. For now I'll take the hit and sleep well tonight knowing that the form is good for Univest and I raced all-in. The warmth of sleeping on a bed of 600 one-dollar bills will also help.

Bullseye

2009-09-06T11:23:00.001-07:00

The good news: turns out I got the jersey yesterday! I tied Vaillancourt for the GC but going back to the prologue I had the lead by about 3 tenths of a second. A little bummed to have missed out on a podium presentation (they didn't do GC until after tearing down the race), but psyched to be the shirt.

The bad news: wearing the jersey pretty much marked me out of the race today. It was another case of faux-GC, where somehow everyone just watched what I was doing and seemed to ignore all the guys who were nominally behind in time, had full teams, and had a much better shot of placing.

We rode a good race though. Sam bridged into a big early move just before the first major climb, and I watched the other GC guys back in the field. The move was really big and not working too well, but with nearly every team represented it neutralized the race. I wound up doing a little chasing on the descent from the first climb just to keep the pace up, then Sam sat up out of the break to help. He came back right before the few miles of dirt road and KILLED it, basically single-handedly towing the field up to the move. He got lots of compliments from the chuckleheads in the field.

Going into the final climb it was all together and I marked a few moves on the lower slopes. Over the first summit Driscoll attacked and one of his teammates and Vaillancourt, both on his wheel, threw out the parachutes. Somehow no one else in the 30-40 man field wanted to do anything, so I wound up having to chase on the flat/descent going into the final 5km climb. Again, a case of everyone watching the race ride away from them just because of the dumb jersey. I actually had a gap for a mile or so because guys were racing so negatively they let me ride right off, but it wasn't enough to stick and I was wasting energy in no-man's land.

I wasn't feeling stellar at that point and didn't particularly fancy my chances on the steep, pitchy final climb. I definitely didn't give up and ride it in, but just paced it all the way to the top and focused on limiting my losses more than on trying to follow accelerations.

No results yet, but I definitely lost the jersey and fell pretty significantly on GC. Obviously not psyched about that, but I could see it coming, and we rode a very solid, respectable race in defense of the lead. I'll look over the results and figure out whether it's worth going for time bonuses in tomorrow's crit to move up on GC. If so, there are three time bonus sprints plus the finish, altogether worth around 40sec. If the overall is well set I'll just go for the stage and primes. Regardless, after two podiums, a day in yellow, and making it through today without crashing, I can come away satisfied with the weekend.

GMSR day two

2009-09-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

Things are picking up across the board for us here in Vermont. Today's stage was a very dicey, rolly stage that ended in a sprint. Sam swung the axe early in the stage and got into a few unsuccessful breaks, was off solo for a bit, then took some monster pulls on the final lap to single-handedly bring back a dangerous move. With 3k to go he took me to the front through a litany of crashes, and I finished third again. But I also got an 8sec time bonus so I moved up to second and am tied for first on time.

Alan, Bing and Stoney had a less eventful day in what apparently was a more gentlemanly race. The HB leadout train apparently plowed its way to the front with about 1.5k to go, but Bing faded a bit in the headwind sprint with cramping legs.

Tomorrow is the queen stage with lots of long, steep climbs on tap. That should just about wrap up the GC, though Monday's crit has enough time bonuses to keep things interesting. Right now I'm just hoping to make it to the finish and exorcise my demons from last year. Pulling on the jersey would be a great way to finish that process.

GMSR Prologue

2009-09-04T17:37:00.001-07:00

All finished up with the prologue, I finished 3rd behind Dan Vaillancourt (Colavita, 8 sec up) and Jonathan Chodroff (Ouch, 2 sec up). I'm okay with that, both guys are solid and didn't put too much time into me, but I felt like I was pushing shit uphill with a stick during the race. Yesterday was a tough travel day, 15hrs in transit without a ride. Then today we accidentally slept in and only got about 30min warm-up. The other HB guys weren't very psyched on their rides, Sam had a very off day and finished 39th, but this stage is really minor in the GC so it should all come out in the wash.

Maybe someday I'll get on the podium with some guys who have enough energy to change clothes before hand. Seriously guys?

Vermont is a lot like the last time we were here, maybe because it's the same weekend and we're staying with the same people in the same house. But from here on out it's a new race to me; tomorrow's stage is a recycled course from a few years ago, and last year I crashed out of Sunday's queen stage. But we can't go wrong with a team car like this... except that I almost drove over a line of shopping carts today.

All in

2009-09-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

The days are getting shorter and with my improving late-season form I decided to extend the season another two weeks. So after Univest I'm flying to Dallas to hang with El Gato and race Texas Tough, then I fly to Vegas to race the USA Crits final and do the Interbike thing. Though I was super psyched for my voyage, I still really have the fire for racing and also haven't finalized a contract... this trip should give me a chance to get some face time with the directors I've been talking with, plus a few more chances to kick some teeth in and increase my "value."

So it's "all in" on the "career" front, but also racing. I realized I had started to get complacent racing this last month, using my training-through the races as an excuse to not go ape-shit during the race. But really, if riding a few hours before and after a race is going to make you race like a nancy, you may as well have skipped it.

Well I fixed that at the Carnation circuit race, where Lang, Clayville and I were tied for third in the series and one of us had to win both the intermediate sprint and the race to win the overall. Not necessarily planning to stay away the whole time I put in a couple of attacks in succession on the third lap of ten and got away solo. Wanting to take the race by the horns and actually apply some legitimate pressure, I put my head down, went for it, and won solo by a hair over a minute. Back in the pack the boys apparently did the same, getting FIVE in a break of seven. We took first through third, got seven in the top-10 of the race, and took first, third, and fourth in the series.

This was also one of maybe three races this year where I raced with a power meter, so I have all the numbers. I broke away after 1:30 of riding (rode to the race), and started with 2min averaging just over 500w with two jumps of about 1100w. That was two attacks in a row with a few seconds rest before countering myself. Then then the first two laps (10min or so) was an average of 419w, and the whole 1:10 break was an average of 384w. Not actually as high as my "mental average," calculated by remembering the numbers I saw during the race, but it makes sense as I was riding for average speed not average power and feathered it a little on the tailwind and downhill stretches. Also of interest is over 3500kj in 3:15 riding, and an average speed of 27.2 for time off the front.

Great to win our own series, and a good affirmation that the legs are still going well when I want them to. Beyond that, it's a nice reminder that you should ALWAYS go ballistic and leave it all out there. Every race where I try to take it by the horns it pays off, or at least I make something happen. Sitting back and thinking about racing has never seemed to work for me.

Racing by numbers is like painting by numbers: yeah, you drew a nice picture of a pirate ship, or whatever. It guarantees some quantifiable result. But it also guarantees mediocrity and shuts the door on blowing doors wide open. Every year I race I believe more and more that it's way more about what's going on in your head than in your body. Of course, that extends into "training," where you need to go for it with the same gusto you hope to race with.

My one caveat to this new rule is that self-sabotage is almost worse than not trying. The suicide attack is ballsy only if you actually have a shot at sticking it, cash in ALL your chips in the process, and actually yourself believe you'll make it. I don't really understand the riding like DZ did at US Pro, going away solo on the first lap then pulling out. Who did that help? Is it just an excuse to drop out and say "well, I tried?" I wish that guy would get over the one-trick-pony syndrome and realize he can do WAY more in the sport besides a good TT.

So here's to ALL IN racing and living, taking races by the horn, and make things happen the way you want.

Mark Twight, biggest badass in the world

2009-08-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone into alpinism and mountaineering has probably ran across the name Mark Twight, one of the pioneers of high-altitude solo expeditions. He is the real deal, and can lay down a hell of a rant too. We pick up halfway, but this one is pretty self-explanatory, once you get into it (from www.gymjones.com).

Even in the small world of mountain climbing a few guys were convinced that their betters were using EPO, “because there's no way they could be that much faster than me.” Ski mountaineering racing is the same. Cycling is the same; the best guy in the country goes to an international level race, finishes below the 50th percentile and before checking into his own training/diet/recovery/stress-management/genetics/etc the ego goes into self-preservation overdrive and imagines all sorts of doping practices to be responsible. This is a natural consequence of having been told from childhood, “you are a unique snowflake.”

Well you're not and I'm not. If you weren't given the gift you can't get the gift so the best you can do – if your goal is important – is work as hard as you possibly can, pay attention every hour of every day and then maybe, maybe if you've done enough and been smart enough you'll emerge from the muck of mediocrity to shine a bit brighter than you shone before. Then, upon reflection you might decide your goal is a bit more important so you'll start paying attention every minute of every hour of every day. You'll find people who are better than you and you'll take an empty cup when you meet them. Their example will destroy or inspire you and if it's the latter you may stay and learn. You might imitate, doing as they do because you've already accepted that you do not know best – if you did you'd be leading the group they were trying to join. Perhaps being exposed to their superior ability will drive you to work harder than you thought possible, or necessary. Maybe you'll overcome your self-imposed (or worse, society-imposed) limitations and shine even more brightly. Wow, you're getting it: positive reinforcement for hard work and suffering. So maybe you give your goal even more significance and you begin cutting away the ideas and the expectations and the people who you believe prevent you from achieving it. Now you become a real selfish prick, and you begin paying attention every second of every minute of every hour of every day, and you sustain your awareness for weeks and months at a time. You no longer think yourself a unique snowflake, you're a steel-edged blade shaped like a snowflake and you're spinning at warp speed. You're the biggest fish in the pond. You're a badass. Now you have options.

1) If you think you haven't yet done enough, and you could do more, you might begin to understand that, the more capable you become, the higher the mountain rises ahead of you. At that moment you may recognize the existence of a legitimately serious group, ahead of you, above you, somewhere you're not. They are silent, implacable, constantly improving and evolving and because they are truly capable they are accessible to those who are genuine. Among them there's no defensiveness, no posturing or pretending, and they aren't interested in anyone else's. Selection for such a group isn't based on physical performance alone. Issues of character and commitment, and discipline and persistence balance physical talent. Because you clawed your way out of the muck, were “up all night, dedicated” and maintained interest for long enough to differentiate yourself from the short-attention-span sporting dilettantes who commonly brush up against this group they might accept you as an apprentice. If you empty your cup your chances are better. If you redouble your efforts your odds improve again.

2) If however, you think you've done enough or you decide you have “arrived” then you'll stay in the small pond and stagnate. And when the rot is complete you'll be just a little bit better than those around you – your initial example will have driven them to reach higher levels of performance – and there you'll sit, an intellectually bloated, pontificating fuck who once had the juice to work hard but having done so feels entitled to coast on past success all the way to the grave. That's when you'll start offering opinions based on the certainty of your own short-lived, amateur experience.

3) And if that limited practice has convinced you anyone better than you is so because of drugs or because they won the genetic lottery or they have better equipment, you may be right. But it's a lot more likely they are better than you precisely because of your cop-out opinion, because you are lazy, or confused about the meaning of hard work and diet control. Maybe you think self-discipline means drinking two beers instead of six. Maybe you think (OTC) supplements can end-run a bad diet and inadequate recovery. Maybe you think 3x8 of something, anything, is the apogee of training theory. Or maybe you think intelligent training means competing in the gym or on an Internet forum where people are as fit and capable and talented as they anonymously pretend to be. Maybe you read about a workout, do it, think it was easy and exclaim that anyone who found it hard is not as good as you. Well wake up, everyone is a geek to someone and maybe the “300” workout you found easy has been done with more weight, or faster, or with longer range-of-motion. Maybe that named workout doesn't matter. Maybe the person you compare yourself to doesn't share your definition of fitness, or happiness or health. Perhaps his or her objective is altogether different. Perhaps, an honest self-assessment would reveal all of your pretense and blind obedience to a particular ideal. Maybe you need self-destruction to lead to self-creation, or reinvention.

Training, scheming, waiting

2009-08-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

August has been both super productive and horribly monotonous. We originally planed to do the Tour of Utah and kept the whole month open, but that fell through and we were left with no travel racing. So training has been the name of the game. I put in a huge final push these last few weeks, doing 20-25hr weeks including racing and lots of VO2-type work. I've never done this much volume of this kind of intensity, and though I've been pretty wiped I can feel myself coming back around and feeling consistently strong.

I also went off sugar the first week of August to try to stabilize my appetite and lose a few pounds before GMSR and Univest. So far so good; though my hankering for dessert hasn't gone away as I'd hoped, I have shed 6lbs since Nationals about 4 weeks ago. I'm pretty psyched out of my gourd for Univest, this is a race I've been wanting to do for a long time and my prep should be about as good as I could have hoped for this year.

To keep myself from going crazy I've also planned an end of season hurrah that WILL ACTUALLY make me go crazy. I have two weeks from when I get home from Univest to ride this loop and make it to the first day of class:

It's about 2300mi and goes through Mt. Ranier NP, Hell's Canyon, the Sawtooths, Yellowstone, Glacier NP, and the N. Cascades (among other very notable places). Clearly it's a pretty monumental undertaking as I'll need to average close to 170mi/day to make it, but I figure I'll be alone and can ride probably 14hrs/day and travel super light... plus I'll have ample opportunity to cut the loop off if I fall behind schedule or get side tracked. And OMG am I going to eat a lot of sugar.

Still not much development on the team front. I'm waiting until after USPRO this weekend to start following up with directors. By then most teams should be winding down their seasons and ready to start thinking about the year ahead. With any luck I'll have some idea of what team I'll be on, which teams I have to chose from, or at least which teams I MOST want to beat/put into the curb next year to think about on my voyage.

Portland Twilight

2009-08-08T18:30:00.001-07:00

I can't say it better than Pat Malach did in his write up from the race. Pat is an Oregon photographer/cycling journalist who has been at most of the big regional races we've done this year and gave me some pretty generous talking up. Thanks Pat. And be sure to check out www.oregoncyclingaction.com for future write-ups and photos.

Hegyvary takes Portland Twilight Criterium in front of boisterous crowd

Washington’s Adrian Hegyvary blew into town with several of his Hagens-Bermans teammates and stole the show from the local stars at the 8th Annual Subaru Portland Twilight Criterium Saturday night.

Crowds jammed the sidewalks of Portland’s North Park Blocks to watch racers tackle the technical six-corner course on 8th and 9th avenues between Couch and Flanders.

Hegyvary, a Cat 1 rider for the powerful Seattle-based amateur team, has made a habit of winning races in Oregon this season. He took two stages of April’s Cherry Blossom Classic in The Dalles, a pro/am race won by Bissell Pro Cycling Team’s Paul Mach. Hegyvary was one of the most aggressive amateur racers at the Mt. Hood Cycling Classic in Hood River – also won by Mach – ending up in race-shaping, daylong breakaways on at least two stages.

He wasted little time letting the rest of the field know he meant business again.

”I got a call-up at the last minute,” he said. “So I figured since I was on the front the best would be to just go from the gun. We had a bunch of teammates here, so I figured if I couldn’t stick it, then that would be a good way to get the race started. We do better if the race is a little faster, especially on short course like this.”

But Hegyvary was in for a tough battle with Land Rover-ORBEA fielding top guns Evan Elken, who had been on the podium twice before at this race, and Roman Van Uden, winner of the criterium at Tour of the Gila, heading up a small contingent for the Portland-based UCI pro team. Gentle Lovers also fielded a small group of riders to support sprinter Steven Beardlsey’s podium ambitions. Team Oregon, HPChiro/Hammer Nutrition, Veloce/Felt, Hammer/CMG Racing, Cyclepath and most of the other Oregon teams also had riders in the bunch.

When Hegyvary attacked on the second lap, Elken, Van Uden and Beardlsey were immediately in tow. The breakaway stayed off the front but failed to build a significant lead. Portland Bicycle Studio’s Molly Cameron soon bridged to the group, which by now was just dangling off the front of the field.

“I kept wanting to drive it to get the gap up so we wouldn’t have to worry so much,” Hegyvary said, “But it was tough getting guys to work a little bit.”

With the break tantalizingly close to the field, the makeup of the group began to change as riders bridged and then dropped, flatted or sometimes crashed. But Hegyvary, Elken and Beardsley remained steadfastly at the front, trying to cash in on their daylong efforts.

“At the start I thought it was going to stick; about 20 minutes in," Hegyvary said. “But there just wasn’t enough cooperation. We would roll through, but we weren’t pulling hard enough. So it wasn’t really until the last couple of laps that I really thought we’d stick it.”

Coming into the last laps the lead group contained Elken, Beardsley, Hegyvary, Team Oregon’s Chris Swan and one of Elken’s Land Rover-ORBEA teammates.

That’s when Hegyvary’s Hagens-Berman teammate Sam Johnson made a desperate solo bridge to the breakaway group on the second-to-last lap and immediately went to the front to set up his teammate in the sprint. Hegyvary jumped two corners before the finish and comfortably held off Elken and Beardsley, who finished within inches of each other for second and third, respectively.

“I went on the outside, and then Sam kind of eased off a little bit so the gap opened up,” Hegyvary said. “That was awesome. That was a good move.”